I don't know how it is but all good stories that have u rolling in the aisles hysterically with laughter always but always start with 'So I was pissed and....','So I was drunk and....', 'So we were drinking and...'; It kinda makes me wonder if we ever had lives before alcohol. I know I started drinking at around age 20 - I mean like drinking drinking [drinking 1 glass of wine between 3 girls bcoz u paid cover does not count!!]. I'm sure I must have had fun before that but you sure cannot tell now!
Last night was a prime example of this: 3 girls met up generally to catch up before one leaves for lands far away - across the kaala paani and the talk turned to [for once, not boys] but all the funny drunk stories one has encountered either through personal experience or someone u know. These are the only stories that I know of that are also never 'a friend of a friend' - u know the bad luck stories, the horror situations - those always happen to a friend of a friend where u've heard of it but u don't actually know the person.....to get back to the point, for drunk stories - either u're it or u're supporting it!!
So last night was Bring on the alcohol - demolished 2 bottles of Sula Blush Zinfandel and swapped these crazy stories, most of which we have heard before but never fail to bring a tear to the eye - for laughing like crazy. Most recent example - me sitting and whingeing to everyone - u're making funnome - and then getting vicious and telling everybody else what they do when they are drunk - bathroom stalls with married women and someone else is crying. I'm surprised I did not say '5 minish' which is a staple line of some people if they don't want to leave. One of the other girls ate chocolate, drank wine and then started hopping practice, followed by lots of moaning and pleading - go figure! One of the funniest in recent times is deciding to interuppt one couple we know and then saying in a very serious tone to be absolutely fair 'If her top is off, ur pants should be down' - and not seeing anything remotely suggestive in this statement at all. Another girl in an inebriated state decided if her boyfriend did not want to kiss her she would go find her non-lesbian friend who could definitely 'handle' her. The same one also liked to bite cheeks of said friend when high and then compare it to boti kebab since favourite food! Another girl I know decided that she could not have triplets because she had only 2 nipples so how would she feed the third child? and now she wants to have 4.......I tell u! and this is not even starting on the boy's stories which will have to have an appropriate PG-13 page to itself!
The list is endless - I want to start a blog dedicated to these stories which anyone can contribute to...and the title of that blog will be the title of this post. I know practically every single one of my acquaintance will have a story to tell!
I just saw this facebook and it's incredibly relevant also - please put up ur hand if u have done even one!!
When Girls Drink Too Much...
1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woohoo" is truly the sexiest dance move around
3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too
4. In our last bathroom visit, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago
5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much
6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "oh my god! I love this song"
7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us
8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it
9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin
10. We think we are in bed, but the pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)
11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it
12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.
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