Travel Woes

The thought for today is where to travel...is familiarity and comfort more important than novel experience?

I've had this toss up before most notably in the Turtle bay vs Hong Kong debate which became a null decision since mother fell sick and had to cancel Turtle bay but the new place had won.

However this year, I did a new place and cannot say was impressed by it even though it came with many good reviews.In my life, where leave is an issue and money sometimes, it pinches to waste both on an average experience!

So the husband and his BFF and wife love Samui and thus want to go there all the time, in this case specifically for New Year's Eve! Now I loved the honeymoon and thought it had a fantastic vibe but I hate to go to the same place twice when I can try something new but was thinking, Thailand assures you of a fantastic experience and you cannot go wrong with it - whereas if I insist on someplace new for example Hampi and it does not work out, it seems to be self defeating! Also the other argument is that the value for money is much higher in a place like Thailand than anywhere in India where expensive rates are not a guarantee of good service or standard!

In other information, thanks to pinterest, I now have some very exotic locations on my to visit list.

addition # 1 Lake Bled in Slovenia - where the water is so clear, you can see under the boat!

this is a picture pinned by Lauren G which I think looks amazing....similar picture is the Hilton at Bora Bora.

addition # 2 Austria Green Lake in the Hochschwab mountains - would it not be amazing to take a break while diving and just sit on the bench waiting for you there?

Side note: ok so clearly my first time posting in this new blogger template and while it looks cleaner (much like gmail), it does feel too sanitized!

on friends

I never realised it's been almost 7 months since I last feel the need to say something! I think I might have forgotten the password to blogger but it's one of the 3 that I use everywhere so got lucky there, unlike my internet banking password where I have set a new one every time I use the damn thing due to my inability to remember what I had chosen the last time - this is further exacerbated by the fact taht they expect you to change every 3 months in any case which means about the time I sort of remember, it's due for change!

There has been a series of minor events in my life - trying to set up a house, hating afore mentioned house, house developing leak, living at mother's for 2 months, finding new house, living with only 2 chairs in new house for nearly 2 months now but still...the floor is sparkling white so feels good to sit on it!

In other news, the BFF had a second baby so I trotted over the 2 oceans and god knows how many countries to visit her, my 2 and three-quarters old godson (first time seeing him by the way) and the new bonny boy who crossed 5 kilos at the 4 weeks stage! I really enjoyed spending time with R and not doing anything at all but chilling in the house and sort of helping to look after the boys (read as letting baby D sleep on me while R rushes around changing, feeding and bathing the baby not to mention the 2.5 yo!!) - very good sort of assistant I is - I tell ya!

on the way  back, stopped off in HK and spent a night with the charade - was great catching up and we stayed up till 2.30 talking - don't ask me about what!

It was this and the 'depression' I have suffered since then which actually brought me back to this forum.

I am 30 years old (yeah that's the other eventful thing that happened - I crossed over to the dark side - was so unhappy could not even do a recap post!) and at this point, 2 of my friends from college live in this city! Hanging out with the girls kinda causes a wrench in my chest because no matter how much I love the friends I have here today, nothing quite compares to someone who has known you for half your life, if not more in some cases! out of the group of 12 girls, around  6 -8 of us are still in fairly close touch one way or another, some more than others leading to everyone being fairly aware of what all are doing. Out of these, 5 are from the same school so even more history from that....these girls understand where you come from always, you have made so many memories, its very easy to share the new ones - somehow we are invested in the children as well coz they are 'of' the friends. It's very easy to resume a conversation even if the last one was years ago. It was not just me who felt this way - both R and Charade also commented on how comfortable and nice it was to just have a conversation in person - another friend also remarked on how she was missing other girls who in turn responded with the same sentiment (maybe we all just 'mawkish'?).

I think part of the problem for me is it's much more difficult to make friends as an adult than as a child/teenager - if you join a university, those people might be carried with you but post that.....I think for me also, I was very happy with the friends that I have and object to replacing the people who suit me just fine even if they live continents away -I'd rather have a phone conversation once a week with the BFF than dinner every day with someone else!

Oscar Worthy?

I feel like I watched a movie after months - Actually I did watch a movie after months! The Husbaand went off to babysit his best friend (whose wife and child are absconding in the UK) and I decided to catch up on some Oscar fare! I started with The Kids Are All Right followed by the much touted Social Network.

I have to say I cannot understand the typecast butch with the short hair and the manly clothes! I'm certain there must be relationships where both are feminine or both are somewhat butch. In this case, Annette Bening is called Nick, dresses in trousers and vests - I understand the controlling part but the need to be masculine? is it not possible to be lesbian, in charge and feminine? I understood Julianne Moore's character more - the sleeping with the man does not imply she is straight or even bisexual just that she is tortured and making bad choices to force the situation. The movie is good but apart from the fact that it was a same sex relationship, all the issues seem the same. Mark Ruffalo as the 'F***ing Interloper' trying to move into a ready made family, was the best thing in the movie for me but I cannot understand the non conclusion of the sub plots like Joni kissing the boy or Tanya and the other fruit picker (this maybe just me though with the need to tie up all threads!).

Having read "The Accidental Billionaire', I have to say the movie stayed true to the book in most part but still the book had more impact. Maybe watching the movie, little less than a year after everyone else creates a certain prejudice but I was certainly not raving about the film. The book very clearly states that for Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook is the biggest thing in the world but that did not come out for me in the movie. In the case of Eduardo Saverin, the things he might have done seem personal and the point of Sean Parker is not overtly stated as a threat. The music does set the scene and Jesse Eisenberg acts the part of a borderline genius but I'm not sure that A Girl is the source of all his angst.

I also thought that the films very not very gripping but that could be the effect of watching them at home on a not very large screen - the distractions and ability to pause does not create the tension to pay attention! I really could not understand the Oscar hype around the films in comparison to previous films which I loved - The Reader, Million Dollar Baby, even Life is Beautiful! 

Next on the list to conquer - True Grit and The Fighter.

and that's what you missed on....

Glee! That's generally the way they open the show after the recap - The first few episodes of this season have focused on Kurt and his issues with being the only gay person in the school. Well, What I missed on is having a gay BFF - I feel like my life is somewhat incomplete! I also wanna be a 'Fag Hag' - tho I'm not sure if that's a politically correct term - if it's not,I take it back but I still wanna!

Actually, I cannot claim to KNOW a single gay person much less claim them as BFF's - even the people who apparently are homosexual are certainly not telling me!! I think it's a vibe I give off - maybe I come across as judgemental?? Tho I really cannot see how that's possible considering for most people, I'm left of the middle and for some people, I'm not even on the path!

Couple of my friends have the gay BFF thing going and they make it sound like a secret society! Oh! my gay BFF did this - My gay BFF did that! I want a key! I also want to have friends who have 'gaydar' and say things like 'The closet ain't big enough for him, honey'!!

I think my new year's resolution this year - instead of adopting a child for education, I'm going to adopt a gay BFF for my education!

Looking back....

I wrote this post in May 2008. Apallingly, I've only struck off two things!! So I've decided to review the list and see what I did accomplish....

   1. Visit Leh-Ladakh
   2. Study Fashion History - the subject can change but the thought is to study further.
   3. Live in London/New York/Paris - preferably while I'm studying
   4. Go deep sea diving/snorkelling
   5.  Got burnt on a white beach - Nha Trang, Vietnam
   6. Be Brave enough to wear a 2 piece string bikini once
   7. Go for a calligraphy course
   8. Be more technology friendly - learn how to operate DVD players, iPod's, fancy phones
   9. Do the heritage walk at  Rajasthan - Road trip in March 2010!
  10. Visit a sanctuary in India - Bandipur, Jim Corbett, any any!!
  11. Practice my french in Pondicherry
  12. Run a marathon
  13. Learn to cook 4 awesome dishes and make 3 fantastic cocktails and create 2 delicious deserts
  14. Print out digital photos to put memories of a life
  15. Create a signature look - either with a color or style
  16. Honeymoon in (Thailand)- the wedding thing gets taken care of in this one
  17. Own a property
  18. Vipassana/Art of living
  19. Stop smoking
  20. Manage my own money

Ok clearly, for me, list making does not help me accomplish any thing! I don't think I could have accomplished all of these by 30, given my lazy nature but to have just done 2 - shameful! espescially since pts. 1,10,11 and 18 involve travel which should have motivated me! Pt.13 was too hopeful to begin with - I'm on the way for Pt.19!
When I was living through the last 2 years, It seemed busy enough but clearly I've achieved much less than I could have - there are months which nothing to show for it! My resolution for the year 2012 (clearly 2011 has marriage related resolutions...) is to travel more and self improvement!

On the auspicious occasion of 20.10.2010

the Wedding Numbers for 12.12.2010

• Little under 2 months to the 3 wedding ceremonies
• 1 Bridesmaid missing
• 2 dress designers -0 number of fittings for the dress
• 1 pair of shoes bought
• 3 friends with weddings on the same weekend
• 300 wedding cards printed -5 cards distributed
• 250 favours bought -200 people on guest list
• 1 honeymoon booked
• 3 friends knocked up who cannot make it to the wedding
• 2 excited people - 1 Happy couple who cannot wait for it!

Love is blind....

and dumb and in my case, mostly also deaf!

presenting "Amazing Choices" - the line of boys I've had crushes on over the years:

1. The boy who spoke no english part 1 - in his defense, very sweet. 
2. the boy who spoke no english part 2 - in my defense, I was stupid!
3. the boy who spoke no english part 3 also known as the boy who had a gf, dated me and married a 3rd girl - There is no defense!
4. the boy in the red sleeveless tshirt at a party - in my defense, I was drunk!
5. the boy with the beavis and butthead laugh - in his defense, he was stupid!
6. the boy with the cap which said mine is longer than yours - in my defense, it was funny!
7. the boy with the abba song - not so bad really, just the friend hated it!
8. the boy with snot on his nose - in my defense,I was very young and did not know any better!
9. the drunk drummer - the whole college also!
10. the stoned hostelite - half the college in this case!

Saved by the following:

• my best friend's brother
• My best friend
• finally the Juggler!!

Turning Three Oh!

April this year, heralded the first of my friends to turn 30, followed by one in May - this month sees the list take off with 2, then 3 in September followed by another 2 in October then the random strays culminating with me in May next year .




30 now seems to me to be the big step into Responsibility - it is the sense that I will finally have to take charge of my life. In the 20's, I could shrug it off – too busy enjoying graduate studies, living away from home and then financial independence for the first time! Being responsible for myself could always take a backset but at 30, there is no such excuse!


Having taken the first step by getting married *huge sigh of relief*, I threaten to embrace it inspite of the 19 year old in my heart. Looking around me, I see all mature individuals actually making difficult life choices. At this threshold, I see friends raising children, having babies, planning weddings. I also see friends making difficult decisions to end marriages/relationships that are not working or refusing to settle for anything. I do see people who are still stuck in a timewarp, discussing life and retaining attitudes of a life, 10 years ago but this *thank god* is a limited number.


After this year, I can no longer claim to be a child (never mind what my parents think!) - I will be living on my own, *running* a house, responsible to another individual as an equal - all scary scary thoughts. I know friends have done it and succeeded very well but it is difficult!


30 also implies financial planning - what used to be water through my fingers earlier now needs to be accounted for with issues like rent, savings, and education to consider. Debt free credit card existence is no longer good enough - in fact, debts like house loans, car loans are actively embraced.


Adulthood is finally around the corner and in spite of having delayed it by 10 years, How can I still not know if I’m ready for it?

Recommended Reading: Mike Gayle - Turning 30

Life is short....

I was discussing the books I've read, liked, hated along with authors with my friend N and I suddenly had a revelation. I used to be able to get through anything once I started - it used to be a matter of principle - if I started the book, I had to finish it. I was also experimental (in fiction) reading varied authors like Sophie Kinsella as well as Gabriel Garcia Marquez in the same time (of course, much more was read of SK - I mean, Shopaholic, come on!!). However nowadays, I really have to be captivated by the description/synopsis of a book to be bothered to attempt to read it and yes, I say attempt, coz if the book don't grab my attention by like 50 pages, it bye bye bookie!
The revelation being the reason: Before, I never had a job! College was fun, MBA even funner, and you used to get vast periods of time off so you could indulge these whims of trudging through the boring written word just so I could say - I did it! However, once you start to work and a lot of your time is spent doing things you don't necessarily enjoy or even dislike, it is much harder to spend your precious me time, suffering through something you have no interest in!
This explains why my currently read books include such illustrious titles as Chasing Daisy, Love Rosie, One Day, Twenties Girl while my half read copies of Arranged Marriages and Circle of Reason lie gathering dusts on the distant side table! not to mention the bible for all bibliophiles A Suitable Boy has never been turned beyond the 100th page!

Edited to Add: Finished Arranged Marriages last night. Also have friend who is Editor (Therefore reads for a living) and yet manages to read everything BUT pulp fiction! so clearly this is just a me phenomenon!

Wedding preps...

• Groom - check
• Venue - check
• Church booking - check
• Marriage preparation course - check 
• Dress maker - check
• Bridesmaid - check
• Flowergirls - check
• Wedding theme+colour - check 
• Flowers - check
• Wedding checklist - check 
• Permission from Pope - ??

What's the point in planning a wedding if you don't have the permission to be married?

Thank you

Today I sat through the first day of the Marriage Preparation Course which is mandatory to be married in the Roman Catholic Church of India - In it, the things I learned today among others was the anatomy and physiology of male/female, the updated version of the Rhythm Method and esteem issues. Considering the juggler and I are 'Evolved' human beings - the course covered ground we already knew or had passed in the beginning of our relationship - making it truly a trying experience for the 2 of us and that was just the first day!

Since the juggler also made a 'mistake' in his 'youth' , we have also done a circle of marriage tribunal law, submitting documents from birth certicates to affidavits regarding practice of catholicism and children we might have and sending 4 witnesses to talk about the mistake, all so we can get married in the church.

I'm still not sure if this process is going to be worth it, but I promised myself I would do everything from my end to ensure it happens, the rest I leave in the hands of God and apparently, his chosen ones!

Through all this, I would like to say an immense 'Thank you' to the juggler for his stoicism in the face of what must be complete insanity to someone who has not been brought up in a demanding religion! To me, its just something you take for granted, that you need to earn your right to things but not-so for others. I appreciate the complete and utter committment he has made evident in this crazy rigmarole and love him much for it even if the 3 things he loves most about me are actually about him!

10 jobs I think I'd like....

Please note I'm not saying careers coz over time I have realised, to me the job is a job!

1. Tour Guide
2. Features writer/journalist
3. Fashion/beauty editor
4. Mattress trial person (I'm assuming it involves a lot of sleeping)
5. TV show rater
6. Facebook stalker (I never said the job existed!)
7. Food taster
8. Social media user
9. Back up Dancer (I'm not sure exactly how stressful this is but in the last row, can't be so bad!) *
10. Librarian

Someone else also has a list of slacker careers!
* Pixy tells me this is 8 hours of very hard work on a slow day even in the last row (ref comments below) so no-can-do!
Thank you Pix!

I'm feeling like a Jew in Germany

in 1939 - the writing is on the wall and I'm white washing over it! I'm Indian, I'm Roman Catholic and I'm fed up! Nothing seems to work anymore - if its not enough that outside forces/terrorists attack us, we seem to attack ourselves - Whether its the religion card or the community card, it all seems to work - the average person on the street seems to be waiting to be told who his next victim is! By thinking that we are a young democracy, am I turning a blind eye to a deep rooted  problem in the system? Do I need to wait till there is complete anarchy or we turn into a dictatorship to make the hard decision to leave? It's not something I ever thought I would do - being the daughter of a IAF fighter pilot automatically instills in you a sense of pride and yes ownership  - but as an owner, do I need to sink with the ship? 

One of the reasons I always looked askance on moving abroad is that it is not where you come from - you are always a second class citizen - things are not the same as in India where you fit in seamlessly. But lately, I have been feeling like a second class citizen here as well - I mean I look the same but in spite of  having a decent job, my money goes nowhere. Ok the rich are rich in any country, but at least middle class gives you aspiration to a better life. It seems to me now better to be a rung lower in another country since that country's ladder is higher than ours! 

My biggest fear now is that we can turn into Afghanistan - I'm not sure exactly what Afghanistan is like but in my mind, it was run over by religious terrorists and I would like to know what the previous decade was like before the final power take over?

What I need is a country where I feel safe from persecution of any kind, where hard work has reward and society is progressive - I know I know It's called Utopia!

Feb+March 2010

I had the gall to ask the charade why she was posting in bullet points while blogging about her vacation only to realise that when I eventually sit myself down to write, I end up doing a recap post in bullet points or a to-do list in the same! I cannot seem to bring myself to end the cycle - the way I look at it, if I cannot use the blog to express my feelings/thoughts (about personal issues), it serves me well as a snapshot of my life at the time. When I read previous entries, It recaptures for me the person who I was at the time and if I cannot write that, let it at least remind me of things that I accomplished and also the things I let slide!

Some of the big things in this year have happened - Friend's wedding in Goa  (ref pic above) and the BIG event at the end of the year is my own! 

However in between are little bits of joy as well - in 2 weeks time, I will doing a road trip with my parents and the FANCY! I know I know, HUGE risk but the way I look at it, they are stuck with each other, the same way I'm stuck with them, they may as well learn now how to get along in confined spaces! so essentially, A and I are taking the train to Jodhpur - my parents are going there for a course reunion (Airforce/Maruth for those interested). From there, we will drive to Jaisalmer (my last posting as an AF brat), Mt.Abu, (never been) Baroda (to see the fam), Daman(also never been). Now, I love road trips - having been twice from Bombay to Ooty and also year before last to Bijapur! I find travelling through the countryside exhilerating and edifying.....cannot say the same of the Fancy who has never been on one and cannot seem to fathom why one should be on one! since he claims I'm the only one he can holiday with - the other person being tied down with wife and baby, he has grudgingly agreed to try it out this once! I'm crossing my fingers for it to work out - the more new things he learns to like, the easier travelling will get once we are married!

I've realised people are not kidding when they say the more things you have in common, the better it is! I love being my own person but when you have to come from opposite directions, the middle is that much further away!