Raise your glass!

My Maid of Honour's speech at the wedding:

Curly, my best friend you're married today.,,

our fun days at college seem like yesterday,

Coffee at Crosswords & getting wet in the rain

gelato's in Italy & Sangria's in Spain.

We always had a blast where ever we went

and didn't care how much money we spent

We've travelled together & seen different places

we've found our soul mates among all those new faces.

You were always crazy & had your own style

which made certain people run for a mile!

but what I love about you is you don't mind

and your thoughts, words & deeds are never unkind

You've been there for me like no other

That's why I made you my Son's godmother.

You're loyal & loving & a really great friend

But your reign as Drama queen will never end!

When I first met the juggler, I thought what a guy,

hes handsome & funny & not at all shy.

ok The juggler's paid me to say this

but not any of that would I dismiss.

I love how you two look at each other

like there's no one around just one another

and Juggler, the key to being a happy chappie

is to make sure your wife is always happy!

Curly & The Juggler what can I say

you guys look great together any time,any day

you're not alike in many ways 

but your love for each other never sways

I will end now on this high note

it's a pretty cool poem but I wont gloat

I wish you both love luck & health

and many babies to spend all your wealth!

*There were tears at the end of this!

Money Money Money!!

So I pretty much made a killing at the wedding (not including the jewelery given to me by parents, family and inlaws), making the following list a possibility.
Things I've bought ostensibly for the marriage/house:

• Ipad for the 'Husbaand'
• Cupboard+Bed for the house
• Vase to hold flower lights
• Flower lights from Thailand
• Shoe cupboard
• Rattan Laundry basket
• Carina 6 ft lamp
• 22 pc crockery set
• Coffee machine

*edited to add

• Bookshelf
• step sideboard currently used as dressing table
• shoerack

And yay! I still have vouchers left!

In my non missed absence:

• I got married - three times
• had a wedding after party in a fancy ass suite at the Taj Lands End with champagne flowing
• visited Thailand for the first time (Honeymoon)
• stayed in a Pool Villa
• bought fabulous and fabulously expensive shoes
• moved home (Khar)
• been sick for 3 weeks
• started playing House
• discovered maid trauma
• bought things like vegetables, masalas,
• obsessed about putting boxes away
• own 4 chairs too many
• attended 4 weddings - 2 on the same day
• ignored the sales
• started and finished the millenium trilogy
• started planning a trip to the States 

Since TheCharade now has me addicted to fashion blogs, I consider it my duty to opine on the fashion of major awards ceremony. Presenting The Golden Globes:

• Think Amber Riley looked superb 
• Julianne Moore - My God!who said Red clashes with Pink?
• Justin Bieber wears what I was trying to convince my husband to wear for the wedding - Suit with sneakers!
• I understand shoes not matching each other - but to then not match the dress as well! Helena Bonham Carter - explain yourself.
• These 3 look like left overs from Oscar 2010 - Carrie Underwood, Olivia Wilde,
• If January Jones ran out of material, she should have put the apron in front to better use!
• Jennifer Lopez returns to her Latin (read Mexican) roots - by wearing a Poncho!
• This year's icecream - Lea Michele!
• I know it's Glee - but polka dots and checks!! 
• Since I only bought the inner wear, I'll just drape the sheer curtains like a sarong: Halle Berry! 
• Competing for vampire of the week - Jayma Mays and  Piper Perabo!

That's all, folks! Stay tuned for further updates and the Oscars!

To remind me....

I love you not only for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself
But for what you are making me
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for passing over all my foolish and weak traits,
That you can't help but see
I love you for drawing out into the light my beauty,
That no one else had looked quite far enough to dim
I love you.

The wedding preps finally caught up with me yesterday - Cried thrice - only knowing the juggler is at the end of it makes it worthwhile!

On the auspicious occasion of 20.10.2010

the Wedding Numbers for 12.12.2010

• Little under 2 months to the 3 wedding ceremonies
• 1 Bridesmaid missing
• 2 dress designers -0 number of fittings for the dress
• 1 pair of shoes bought
• 3 friends with weddings on the same weekend
• 300 wedding cards printed -5 cards distributed
• 250 favours bought -200 people on guest list
• 1 honeymoon booked
• 3 friends knocked up who cannot make it to the wedding
• 2 excited people - 1 Happy couple who cannot wait for it!

Wedding preps...

• Groom - check
• Venue - check
• Church booking - check
• Marriage preparation course - check 
• Dress maker - check
• Bridesmaid - check
• Flowergirls - check
• Wedding theme+colour - check 
• Flowers - check
• Wedding checklist - check 
• Permission from Pope - ??

What's the point in planning a wedding if you don't have the permission to be married?

Thank you

Today I sat through the first day of the Marriage Preparation Course which is mandatory to be married in the Roman Catholic Church of India - In it, the things I learned today among others was the anatomy and physiology of male/female, the updated version of the Rhythm Method and esteem issues. Considering the juggler and I are 'Evolved' human beings - the course covered ground we already knew or had passed in the beginning of our relationship - making it truly a trying experience for the 2 of us and that was just the first day!

Since the juggler also made a 'mistake' in his 'youth' , we have also done a circle of marriage tribunal law, submitting documents from birth certicates to affidavits regarding practice of catholicism and children we might have and sending 4 witnesses to talk about the mistake, all so we can get married in the church.

I'm still not sure if this process is going to be worth it, but I promised myself I would do everything from my end to ensure it happens, the rest I leave in the hands of God and apparently, his chosen ones!

Through all this, I would like to say an immense 'Thank you' to the juggler for his stoicism in the face of what must be complete insanity to someone who has not been brought up in a demanding religion! To me, its just something you take for granted, that you need to earn your right to things but not-so for others. I appreciate the complete and utter committment he has made evident in this crazy rigmarole and love him much for it even if the 3 things he loves most about me are actually about him!

Things to do - done list!

What I've been doing the last couple of weeks feeling like a busy busy girl:

• Trying to catch up on reading and not really succeeding
• Gone for the Juggler's niece's Godbharai to Baroda where I might complain, have not eaten Gujurati food - rest was nice
• Said Goodbye to 2 girl friends with massive staggered farewells including trips to Goa, clubbing and the finale - bar crawl last saturday.
• Went for a wedding peripheral exhibition with the other bride to be
• Started watching Season 6 of 'Two and a Half Men'
• Spending girlie nights at the partyhouse [read house of juggler's best friends]
• Started Homeopathy and reasonably pleased with the results
• Discovered yummy cupcakes at Sante
• Had extreme period pain and gotten up twice at 4am with it[Please remember this blog is also for posterity so im allowed to mention random details of my life!!]
• Not watched any movie worth talking about majorly - liked 'Kaminey' but that's it
• Realised the minimum number of people I need to call for the wedding is 125!
• Loving the music of 'Wake Up Sid!' espescially Kya Karoon?
• rediscovered a love for Indian chinese food - Mr.Chow's Zindabad!

Little things make my life!

Marriage - societal obligation or human choice?

After a mega discussion on the institution of marriage with The bride, since she has put up her views on marriage, I am going to discuss my take on it.

The first thing I really need to vent is the infamous question - 'Are you going to settle down soon?'. so like listen up, I'm 28, have a good job, do not have any substance abuse problem, have a steady boyfriend, how much more settled can I get? do I need to have a ring and 2.2 kids to be settled? I agree living with my parents may not signify settled but thats just Indian culture - if we lived in a different country I could be out of the house since I do make enough money to support myself - not sure about family but myself for sure. Is that not settled enough for people?

Don't get me wrong tho - I totally believe in the institution of marriage - I don't think its just societal sanction - I honestly believe it is a person's choice - you are declaring this person makes you happy in more ways than one. The rest of your family is handed to you on a plate from your parents to your children, you do choose your friends but its not the same relationship. Your spouse is someone who you declare - this is my partner, I want to grow with this person, I will create life if possible with this person. To digress and address the issue of noone wants to have sex with the one person for the rest of their lives, the commitment is also the inherent sacrifice in it - that you forgo your other options. I don't think the term marriage implies just a piece of paper - it signifies the emotions, the desires, our need to belong and our need to own. We need to say this person belongs to me - it is mine!

The first line of any sociology textbook states 'Man is a social animal' - this is true - we have evolved from primates where there in A alpha male - in our society, there is no such sharing. That again is a choice!

I think that's one thing I got from my religion - everything is a choice and I cannot believe that marriage is a sociological conditioning to be with a person - it has to be a choice people make, a declaration of love.

Another one bites the dust!

Just back from yet another wedding - this one in the distant hills of Uttarakhand, Dehradun! I have realised though that I do the most travelling for my closest friend's weddings! For R, I took 11 hour flights, travelled a day and a half each way to be present at the wedding and in her adopted hometown for a mere 6 days. In this case too, mega travelling involved - taking trains after centuries and here too skipped the bachelorette or in this case, the most fun party with the overflowing alcohol!
I had been having doubts about this wedding and the reasons behind it - thinking that parental pressure and easy options were the motivating factors. However, seeing the 2 in action after a long time, all apprehension has disappeared - I don't know about the chemistry or the grand passion but they are each other's best friends and I believe that is most necessary to make the marriage a surefire success!
So we started on a tuesday evening after working the whole day - caught the 8.30 flight to Delhi, which surprisingly took off on time, caught a cab to a friend's house where 4 of us were congregation to catch the early morning train to D'dun. However, with one's flight delayed and the other's bus breaking down, we weren't all in till around 3 a.m leaving precious little sleep till 6 when we had to catch the train. Once we boarded the train and reached the destination, we needed baths asap having had the brilliant idea of not changing the night before and staying in tuesday's clothes for 24 hours+!! After what seemed like the annual bath, off to the parlour we went where I died of boredom during the blow out of my hair!! then to the cocktail where we slimily kept sending the boys to the bar to get us the booze! The next day we took a drive to see a bit of the place where I really learnt the meaning of small town - the town is 15 mins across with one main road and not much to do! then dressed for the wedding where my ex-flatmate looked gorgeous and talked all through the ceremony including making faces at every oath of which she did not approve! In between the 2 ceremonies, we sneaked off to do a little celebrating of our own which included looking through photies of the wonderful times we had as students in Pune which resulted in nostalgia for the days gone by and regret for the thought that we would never be as young or as carefree again! After the event, we proceeded to 'KaalRaatri' where the bride's sisters/friends keep the groom away from the bride whole night till the bidaai the next day.
Post this last occurence, B and me proceeded to Mussoorie where we rejected hotels, were rejected from hotels, finally found literally a flea bag motel and then proceeded to drown our sorrows through retail therapy! The next day was spent sight seeing, being awestruck by the beautiful valleys and the perennial mist/fog, the fantastic view from Lal Tibba the highest peak of the ' Queen of the Hills' and we discovered this quaint hotel which is actually a residence converted to a hotel with wonderful food and such lovely character! we met the charming owners and wondered how their grandparents were smart enough to buy property and tons of it! and might I add, his grand father and mine had the same profession - law!!
The last day saw tons of travel again - the previous routine reversed - the train followed by a flight both of which were delayed which means I reached home rather late and cranky!
I was a little cribby about the distance travelled but I am feeling rather refreshed and all in all I think the joy I got from seeing D peaceful and calm in her choice of lifemate was worth all the effort - after all that's what marriage is about - a lifetime committment to someone else's happiness!