Are we on the same page???

Hehehehehe......I think the funda of being on the same page is very entertaining - it lends itself to description/exaggeration so well.

1. "We are on the same page" is the actual phrase which means everyone has the same understanding of the plot and is at the same point in the plot
2. "We are not on the same page" - means we are in the same plot but in different points
3. "Not only are we not on the same page, we are in different books" - different plots also could be in same category/genre
4. "Different books not in the same library also" - vastly different plots from completely different genres
5. "On the same page but exiting the book" - heading to pt.4

Things u did not need to know!

What Kind of Drink Are You?
	You are a Cosmopolitan. You are quiet and content. You don't stand out too much, but you don't mind and don't care what people think of you. You don't need everything to be perfect, as long as you get what matters. Sure, you may be 'girly' and you may not be the smartest, craziest or most refined, but you really like yourself, and that's fine by you.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

5 Friends every chick needs!

There are these whole lists of articles on the list of the 5 friends every chick needs - some of those listed have 10 friends......some of the titles are personal shopper, sister in a suit, the comedian, the wild child. I know I have my posse of people I turn to in a crisis and they all fulfill different roles - not so specific as a personal shopper but general shoulders to cry on types.

1. The sister of my heart - I'm an only child but I have a best friend who understands me completely - she knows I just need to vent and I don't need to be told what to do - and even if she does, she knows if I don't like it, I'm just gonna ignore it!! so yeah, but she is the first person I turn to even if she lives across 3 oceans and 2 continents! I think what she fulfills is the need that I will still be loved after the crisis - I'm not a bad person since she is there for me forever!

2. The strategist - Her husband finds this entertaining since she has never followed strategy herself but she gives me the guidelines to solutions - its like she tells me this is what needs to be done - whether we do it or not is irrelevant but this is the way to go ahead. This is extremely helpful for guy issues since guy minds are unfathomable to me - inspite of having more guy friends than girl friends at times!

3. The distant observer - this is someone (different person each time, mostly) who is quite removed from the issue at hand but since part of your daily life has a keen understanding of you and your perspective and thus can dole out pearls of wisdom that is quite appealing to you.

4. The I don't feel for you girl - she just listens and laughs at the situation which is not all that entertaining for you but it reminds you it's not the end of the world and worse can happen! [this is also often the role played by sister of the heart but she is forgiven for this]! When this happens, I get reminded of the scene in Notting Hill where Julia Roberts is hyperventilating about being caught by the paparazzi and Hugh Grant is like my best friend fell down steps and can't walk anymore - Perspective is what is needed for catastrophe!

5. The clueless friend - this is sometimes the most crucial one, when all is lost just call and go out with someone who has no idea of whats up, letting you avoid the problems in your life. This friend will rib you about some idiotic issue of many years past, letting you feel that oh god! you were as foolish then so nothing much has changed!!

I think if it were not the roles kind of defined over here, I would never survive through anything. My parents are the most important but all these give me the daily balance necessary to survive through life!!

These are the links to 2 of the lists - articles off the net!
1. 10 friends every girl needs
2. 5 friends every girl needs

Prereqs - Not!!

A lot of people have been posting on the qualities/prereqs for a boyfriend - with these really detailed lists - handholding techniques, movie watching preferences, book reading habits, clothes wearing style etc. I have also elucidated on my list - refer spaces for same. However, what my list says and what I do are completely seperate species - firstly one of the things on the list is good looking [arm candy]- last 2 people me focused on not really in that category - I mean current gamous boy is still acceptable (*pliss to be noting esp @ mallumadness, gamous boy is term for crush) but previous is just not in the vicinity of good looking! Also always thought intelligent/intellectual was a must - the last 3 definitely do not meet that requirement - some of them were just slow!!! Dressing sense is another area people are critical of - I mean as long they are not not wearing clothes a la Salman Khan or marginally better all the primary colors like Govinda, is it really such an issue? exactly last one wore the same clothes every week - I think he had a day coded pattern or something! and as for my primary criteria which would be rich - not even close!
Everybody I know swears that I have the worst taste in men in the planet - it's really an unanimous decision - there is no point in me having a list.....instead of must have, I'm going to try for a must not have!!

Boyfriend type person must not :

1. Be married
2. Have existing girlfriend
3. Be slow
4. Own any vehicle that has less than 4 wheels
5. Speak any language other than english as main communication language
6. Be boring!!

I'm sure people reading this will have loads to add so please feel free!! and @ Brian, this cannot be connected to AFC or MCC!!

Death becomes me!

I now officially know what the phrase 'Dying of embarrasment' means!! It means you will just burn up with shame!!

These are a few of my favourite things!!

I've had a very good weekend extended to Monday - mainly coz I read the 7th and last in the series of Harry Potter - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I saw a really funny movie! Please note from here on if you've not read the Harry Potter please discontinue reading...

So I was fairly pleased with the book on the whole with the twists and turns that occured. The ending kinda sucked in my opinion because according to me Harry won on a technicality - I mean Expelliarmus is not exactly a spell to win a battle on! I don't care if that's his trademark as mentioned in the book. I mean Draco used it on Dumbledore - Harry used it on Draco and lo and behold he is the true owner of the Elder wand!! Such a technicality!! and of course the epilogue is really well written...but I'm not sure if it was necessary??

Other than that, this whole love angle and dying for the good of the world is a straight lift from the bible!! this is Jesus incarnate - maybe coz I'm catholic and a fan of all the code in Da Vinci but this is really a copy of the sentiment in the New Testament. Da Vinci code has this bit about how all fairy tales etc tell the story of Mary Magdalene but I'm slowly coming to believe that humans like to hear the same story again and again - that one person will save them from doom.

I was super thrilled with the Snape angle and I believed I've voiced the opinion earlier about disbelief in Snape and how Neville would surely play a bigger role and he definitely lived upto his destiny.

I was also upset about the fact that J.K Rowling used the word 'Bastard' in describing people in the book - at the end of the day - it is a children's novel and it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. I noticed it this time - I'm not sure whether it has occured before and this is why I think she has started writing with her adult audience in mind as well.

I'm still a huge fan of the Potter series since the imagination is just fantastic - Some argue that Lord of the Rings is as big a fantasy but LOTR is much darker in a lot of way and frankly I just don't get the whole World War association everyone keeps on about though that series is definitely written for people above the age of 12.

yesterday - I saw a really funny movie after ages - Wild Hogs - of course it did help that I was a bottle of beer down and that too half bottoms up - I always find alcohol helps take a film over the line from mediocre to good but in this case - I dont think the booze had a big role to play. The movie is about 4 middle aged men wanting to be big bad bikers - and they lead really normal middle of the road american lives. The movie tries to have touching scenes but mainly lands up with hysterical situations which are just funny! and the cast is nothing to sneeze at - Tim Allen, William H. Macy, Martin Lawrence and the main man - John Travolta. Ray Liotta and Marisa Tomei also make an appearance. The star cast is big in my opinion but the noise level on the movie was real low. Maybe this is the kind of movie that does well through word of mouth alone - maybe viral marketing is what was used!!

There was an article in the Time Asia magazine recently on John Travolta and his career graph. For every hit, he has a flop and he is still a bankable star in Hollywood. I think bcoz his hit movies become cult films - Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Look Who's talking, Pulp Fiction, Face-off and now the one coming up Hair Spray - where he plays a woman. Something to look forward to!!

Happy Birthday Mama!!

My mother turned 60 yesterday and in her true style, she celebrated this milestone as well - with friends and family who had flown across the world to be with her on this day. My mom is someone who thinks each event in life needs to be celebrated with the appropriate pomp and splendour - I think this is to give each event its due importance. She is the one who insists I need to have a 'birthday' party every year even in years when I'm sick at the very thought - due to imagined crises or horror at the thought of being so old[quarter of a century?? I'm like ready to kick the bucket!!]. I only hope that when I'm her age, I have the same things to show for my life - my mother has never held a 'corporate' job [not that I want to - life makes me!] to her chagrin but when I think what she does hold - I want the same things.

If my mother is not in the house/gone on holiday, my father cannot entertain himself - I have fun counting the number of times he walks up and down my house looking for occupation. My mother is the only one who can make him sit in one place for 15 minutes at a time - Trust me this is an accomplishment!! I can only pray that after 33 years of marriage, my husband cannot sit without me around!

I cannot go out in public without her checking my clothes - my mother has to validate all my clothing purchase decisions. If I really need advice - not just opinions - my mother is who I will turn to. If we fight [ which we do...trust me...she keeps a clean house and I inherited a messy gene from my da], neither of us can last a week without talking to each other. Again,I can only pray that if and when I have a daughter, I will be her best friend as well.

My mother is the youngest of 3 sisters and she was born much later - 6 yrs after the 2nd. For them also, my mother is a pillar - support, decisions etc. For her neice/my cousin, my mother is a combination of elder sister/crazy friend rolled into one. For my grandparents, she was a joy - often quoting the reason for her nature as 'the child born on the sabbath day is bonnie and bright and good and gay'!

My mom has a friend who says my mother did something very good in her last life that she landed in clover in this life - I think I did something better apparently - I got her as my mother!

P.S. I just know I was perfect in my last life - I got my mother, my father is the best person I know, my family adores me and I have fantastic friends!! just waiting for Prince Charming on the white horse to carry me off into the sunset....but then again, as I always say, I get travel sick!

Mother tongue: ___________

You know - I feel like posting but I really can't say what I'm feeling which makes posting seem irrelevant! So decided this post would be about language - specifically words which we use or make up in our daily lives which so completely do not make sense. The latest in this long line is 'Gamous' - B & I were talking about people who are monogamous/polygamous and she decided I should not talk since I need to get 'gamous' first!! Now put in context, you get the connotation - however I forgot the context and told friend whilst talking about a boy that I wanted to get gamous with him - Friend is like what!!!??? so explained what I meant and she got it [I think]! A word she uses is coolio - which according to her means extremely cool - to me it is a used to be rapper!! Firm where I work has boy who calls all females chicklit - to me & C, that's literature written by a female for a female!! My mother tells me to 'shut my face' all the time - I mean did I skip the window pane part of anatomy?? I actually had a whole list of stuff that we do or say that really means nothing - classic example - take a chill pill or my personal bugbear - chillax - I mean really what does That mean?? no matter how many times people explain to me it's a combination of chill and relax - I just don't get the coolness quotient in that verb!! While I was typing this, I was simultaneously doing a quiz on facebook [I'm kinda figuring it out slowly] and the question was which hip hop word was added to the Merriam Webster dictionary - my choices (a) fo'wizzle (b) hyphy (c) crunk (d) don't remember.....the answer Crunk - what could that mean?? really please let me know if you know!! Beyonce got the word "bootylicious" added to the dictionary as well but that one is easy to understand.....unlike the latest rapper on the block T-Pain who will buy you a 'drank' - now is this called that (a) because he drank it (b) he pays for it after you drank it (c) is it 2/3/x numbers of drinks put together so that you drank and then you become a skank!! It's quite a nice song though tho the video is really at a different pace than the song in my opinion and I swear in some places he looks like he is doing the bhangra!! I think another way we develop words is either we anglicise hindi or we indianise english - Maro'ing' line!! oh! since I'm asking for explanations - please tell me how did the word 'batting' come to mean flirting wit/hitting on ppl - I'm still not clear as to the exact meaning also!! If I continue in this vein, I will be asking for reasons till kingdom come so I'm just going to take my sleepy pills and say good night!!
I also read this random piece of information that english has a neuter gender since for some 300 odd years French was the official language of England so it was kept alive by the common people who just decided to do away with complicated tenses and genders! coolio!!

Khalid Mohammed....step aside!!

I saw "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" yesterday - like everyone else on the internet I'm going to share my opinion of the movie!! It was by far the most boring book of the series - nothing really happened - and the high light of the movie apparently is Dolores Umbridge so there was really nothing in the book! The book is more like a stop gap - tho if I remember correctly in the 6th one - Voldemort does not make an appearance and it's really a history lesson about Tom Riddle. Anyway was quite happy with the movie since it really kept all the essential elements - it did twist the storyline a bit e.g the person who told on Dumbledore's Army is actually Cho Chang's friend - and she has the word Sneak formed across her face in pustules i think for telling since the document they signed [which they showed in the movie by the way] was charmed!! On the whole I was quite pleased with the whole thing - I suppose was happier since had re read the book early in May so remembered quite a few of the things! but the thing is that in this movie, Daniel Radcliffe according to me is already looking older than his character and HP is going to be 18 in the final one which is a good 4 years away so DR is like going to be like ancient! Another thing is the whole Neville Longbottom twist in the tale which could have been specified since I'm hoping there is something more to that angle in the story since he really has lost a lot to Voldemort as well as HP. Can't wait for "Deathly Hallows" on Saturday coz then the suspense is over - Who/What is RAB??!
I also wanted to know if they going to make Shopaholic movies - now that would be fun!! even if they combine 2-3 books into one - it could be quite entertaining!! [Charade: any thoughts on this one??] Since they are finally making a 'Sex and the city' movie!

The day before that had been for P's birthday - we did dinner in Spice Tree and then went to drink at Vertigo. Did not realise at Spice tree that entire area was P's party so ended up ignoring quite a few people - by mistake! Anyway had nice fun time, met loads of people and made fun of half of them - always a good thing!

Looking forward to this week since cousin and baby arrive finally - going to be seeing baby after February - and the first time entire family [mostly] will be together since baby born!! however work wise.... boss is back after a week's break so will wreak havoc playing catch up since everyone knows - when the cat is away, the mice will play!!

I told you - I'm not a Taurus!!

Results of a Tickle test:

The thing is I'm not really big on astrology - zodiac or the hindu style. I was told I was Taurus so I went along for the ride, given that I'm really bull headed!! but was quite gobsmacked [I really like this word] when I read the result below. Some of it I'm skeptical about... highlighted in bold [ Italics is what I like but not sure about]!

The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're an AQUARIUS. As an air sign, you're a great communicator and an independent thinker. Besides which, you've got an incredibly popular side -- people can't resist that inviting personality and your altruistic ways. You are ambitious and creative, but you also have a tendency to be inflexible when it comes to your views. Although you may be a great and giving friend, you tend to shy away from romantic relationships. Your sign -- the water-bearer -- indicates that you give off a special energy that others receive as a gift. You are definitely a people person, and you want everyone to be happy. You also have an analytical edge that comes out in your progressive thinking. In addition to all of these redeeming qualities, you are most commonly known for being the friendliest sign in the zodiac.

Famous Aquarians:

Mikhail Baryshnikov
Charles Darwin
Christian Dior
Paul Newman
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

To comment or not to comment?? - that is the question

I have discovered my tactlessness or unthinkingness in what I'm saying is applicable to my blog commenting also. Twice, I have put down what I think are perfectly innocent comments on blogs that I like and read regularly - and have practically created like the cold war era on the internet.

First: I read friend's blog which was faintly philosophical and to which person had commented about how the style did not suit him - so I commented that I liked it and in response to the above comment [which I did not write actually], I said philosophical is ok as long as people don't go on and on about it. However friend reacted badly and said that is how he feels to which I had to further explain myself which resulted in around 7-8 comments to no purpose bcoz I can't seem to phrase myself properly or attribute retorts to correct people [ since it's not nice to be randomly rude to guest on other people's blogs!!]

Second: I reached this blog site through work colleague and found it extremely funny since constantly doing movie reviews etc - music also but I find the movie bits relevant! anyway today, for some reason saw pics of furniture, with descriptors and prices! basically stuff for sale!! so totally blown away by this concept - commented that had never seen that before - stuff for sale in a blog and being too lazy to sign in, chose anonymous option! got immediate annoyed response: @ anonymous, it is not stuff for sale only. So....I went back and checked post and it was stuff for sale so asked how is it not?? apparently, the blog is not about stuff for sale, it has other options and only that post was. So ended up apologising again for a comment that was nt intended to be rude or deprecating.

Third incident also: Was shouted at for revealing friend's identity while leaving comment on her blog.

Lesson from life: I must not leave comments on blogs.

Maybe if I write this 100 times on the blackboard, it will be more effective.

1. I must not leave comments on blogs
2. I must not leave comments on blogs
3. I must not leave comments on blogs......

This is me....then

My life last year at this time is like from a different decade - the place I worked, the people I hung out with, my weekly routine - everything has changed!! Luckily my parents and house are still the same - thank God!! Last year, I worked in an office which was minimum 45 minutes away from home, where I sat everyday till 8, post which I went drinking - to Harmony (90%), Sports Bar (5%) and Ambience (5%) with loads of different people but 2 constants [A + K] like the 3 musketeers [as u can see from this picture - sometimes very happy musketeers....this is from the fateful day when 4 people demolished 7 pitchers in 3 hrs!!]

Now, I work 15 minutes away from home, go out drinking to Soul Fry (only) and that too only once a week. But life does not change that much.....I still hang out with only single people, I still stress about my job, I still buy clothes every week and now my new obsession instead of Orkut is Facebook - mainly because I don't understand how to use it!! Remind me at some time to complain about how Facebook is not fun since orkut stalking is not possible!!

My fear in all of this: - other people move on......I seem to be stuck in my life. I love it here, it's fun but am I missing out on something else? Obviously other people see areas lacking which is how their life changes - am I blinded to the obvious? or maybe it's a 'latent' need which will attack me later. I've always been a let the mountain come to Muhammad type. But at some level, it worries me that my equals from the year before are now multiplications/additions of who they used to be.

Sleeping Beauty??

This as most people know is one of my favourite activities and I'm famous for pulling 14-16 hour sleeping session - the way other people party or drink - this is my specialty.

Once my roommate and I in Pune pulled an extreme marathon session [for us also] - We went to sleep at 12 since we had a guest lecture at 10 - she woke up at 1030, spoke to me, we contemplated going and said chuck it, she made breakfast and went back to sleep, I arose at 1130 and repeated above procedure. Finally we woke up at 530 and went straight to a movie and pub.

The point of this post is that last night, I pulled similar stunt, After having met S for dinner, told B that she could come stay the night post her date. We ended up at the same joint [much to their chagrin - but really u cannot usurp our adda as ur date spot] where she threw chutney at me. Anway I left half hr earlier than her, went home, arranged the water, cleared the beds, put my phone on loud so I would hear it and then promptly collapsed into an inanimate vegetable so that I missed 6 calls on my phone!!

this morning, woke up full of remorse for the margaritas that I drank when realised B was missing!! so feeling even more remorseful, have spent better half of morning calling people to figure out where she went - time tht could have been utilised getting to work on time!!

Pets

"Every woman should have 4 pets in her life – a mink in her cupboard, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for everything"
Paris Hilton – socialite, singer, actress, jailbird

I never thought I would be in agreement with Paris Hilton about anything - I mean her life could not be further removed from mine to the extent that I say "that's cool" while she drawls "That's hawt"!! But this one statement is definitely true.

So long - Farewell

Age is catching up with me - I'm experiencing the signs. The last three times I've drunk a good amount of alcohol and I'm not talking like bottles, but like say 3 drinks,I have suffered the most drastic consequences the next day. When I'm drinking I'm fine but the morning after...... my head is swimming, slight pounding occurs, bouts of nausea occur - functionality to an extent ceases. This is post water consumption by the litres and insisting on food going in and still the symptoms persist - I personally think it's my body telling me Enough! 9 years we've been subjected to this torture, now behave yourself. I used to be like a tank: 7-8 drinks and good going [of course past this limit and there is no explaining myself but still....].

Yesterday was a very good day - P and I discovered this new place Vertigo, which is quite nice, different from our regular Soul Fry [where we landed up in any case later]. Anyway Vertigo used to be D'Nosh and is quite posh - one of P's colleagues/friends tried to organise an office party there and tentatively suggested playing Hindi music to which she received the caustic reply - It's my pub and I only play 80's!! which suits us just fine - really good music also - songs we have not heard for ages since Club IX started playing vague things like Rakatak - I mean is that really a song??? So back to Vertigo, their margaritas not so good but food good and ambience also - will try different alcohol next time. Then we moved on to 'adda', where we 'bumped' into friends. Since Soul Fry DOES good margaritas, we felt compelled to drink [truth be told, we only went for the margaritas!!] and so ordered a couple more. All in all, good night!!

Done!!

I've had one of my active weeks - time has really flown - in fact I thought I was talking to people 4 days ago and apparently it was 7 days ago - I did not even realise three days had gone by!!

1. Went to Bangalore - had 5 meetings
2. Had 3 relevant meetings in Bombay
3. Went to Infiniti Mall and Atria in the same day - for people who know me, know I hate moving out at all so 2 places in one day - Whoo hoo!
4. Went to CCD( Bandstand), Soul Fry, Club IX, and Amore (Carter Rd) on Saturday night
5. Went to the parlour
6. Watched Grey's Anatomy

Was very happy since had fun, was productive and shared secrets with my mom that were easier than I thought it would be - of course somewhat edited secrets but still.....

Migration

I'm moving here for the second time - hopefully this time since I actually started exploring the options and I found the options for the various list - quite happy with it and think will actually stay here now.

Will start my new blog with some relevant posts from the old one - kind of like a semi introduction.
so here goes:

June 19

Wanted: Prince Charming

I've had one of those days when in the morning - everything went wrong - work wise! and u end up thinking 'Why did I not do that secretarial course - 9 baje aao, 6 baje niklo?'. I've decided the best solution to get out of this rut is to get married - that way I will sit at home and my most stressful question will be what color should I paint my nails today??

So I'm looking for Prince Charming whose criteria I shall list below:

1. Rich - for obvious reasons.....no point getting married if I have to still work
2. Tall - this is so I can have tall kids.....everyone knows I'm barely off the ground so if I co-produce with someone short, my kids will be dwarves
3. Good looking - for my own fun
4. Entertaining - I have the attention span the size of an ant....he needs to be able to keep it - my mother says I need a clown since obvious I want someone to juggle for me!!
5. Nice - this is missable....if I had to drop one of the criteria, ths would be it! Hey I'm nice enough for everybody
6. Intelligent - this is a prerequisite tho definitions of intelligence are different - mine is more of a smart, knows how to talk, street savvy kind of person definitely not intellectual tho, more personality driven perhaps

However the problem with this list is that noone ever meets it! and tho I know this list in theory, in practice I have the worst taste in the universe [ attested to by a variety of people!] so I will stop this post and go back to work!!

May 26

What do I do?

Today I had to explain what I do and I must admit it sounds really cool...there are some perks to working with the entertainment industry [ok - forget the fact office is next to my house - additional bonus!!], it's that one gets to talk about cool stuff for a living. Artist Management, Media, Customisation, customerisation - these are all terms that one learnt in the marketing text book [Philip Kotler Zindabad, May Al Ries and Jack Trout live long as well] and you actually get to use them in daily existence!! I don't think the work is all that glamorous - it's the perks that make the job worthwhile!! Music launches, kaan awards, movie premieres, free stuff...yay the list goes on!!

Went to Eleven Echoes in Juhu today - yes was finally dragged to the distant suburb and in turn dragged townie there but both of us have vowed never again - the positive points just dont out weigh the distance tho 11 echoes is really pretty!!

Actually wanted to see Shootout at Lokhandwala - the movie - based on true rumours [ok that is the whole title] but decided friday night is drinking night instead so will see movie tomorrow since have to haul ass out of bed early in any case since for some reason decided will work on a saturday as well - DUH is me!! and to top it all off, I have to go to Gwalior Tank to some random place for Still shots or stock shots or something along those lines - if someone can please elaborate what exactly I'm looking for - I will be forever grateful [ indebted is a better word, do u think??]!! anyhow someone please tell me how to get there and then what to do once I'm there!! I will be forever 'indebted'!!

Since going to work tomorrow, must sleep at reasonable hour which implies now but since not sleepy will continue posting for one's own pleasure! Finished reading Shadow lines by Amitav Ghosh yesterday - highly recommended by literary minded friends....I like the book but I'm not raving about it if you know what I mean - It gave me a sense of unfinishment [ ok ok I create words] - I think what I mean is unfulfilled but its more like the story did not cleanly end for me - unfulfilled is definitely present but it left me feeling unfinished - maybe it's one of those books you need to read again and then a lot of things become clearer with a second comprehension. Hmmmm that is possibly not going to make sense to anybody but in my own mind I understand [ I think]. I had tried reading Glass Palace by the same author a couple of years earlier but could not get through the first couple of pages but in spite of that ploughed through this since was promised good reading [note to myself: literary friends are literary for a reason]. Literary friend + Magazine editor as opposed to literary friend + monkey porn editor [seperate posting for this story & praying she never read this], anyway literary friend + mag editor swears by Salman Rushdie and her favourite book is Midnight's Children - another book that I could not get through the first couple of pages so just goes to show that one's man passion is another one's poison [ not sure if that is the phrase, if not please correct me!!]. Going to start reading Equal Music by Vikram Seth which my father says is the best written book in English - I should check whether he means Indian authors best or like Compared to Shakespeare Best - hmmmm??? Actually going to go start reading only.....

May 17

Random ramblings!!

I was never part of this philosophy that school friends are the best friends - Ive added so many from each walk of life but there is nothing like someone who has know you all your life and loves u still....I just met some of my oldest school friends - known them at least 15 years and its so comfortable. This is not to say we've always been super comfortable - we've had months when each has not talked to at least one member and in a group of 8 -12 thts a lot of permutations & combinations!! but we've come out of it and now we sit and laugh and think 'we did that?'.

Today I met 3 of my gang of '12 apostles' from college - this is what my mom used to call them since we used to be 12 girls to seat for dinner/lunch/transport etc!! And tho we did not reminisce about old times, it's like you can do anything no matter how badly behaved and everyone is like aaah - never mind - we love her anyways!! pls note - I was only eating all the food on the table before anyone's imagination runs wild! I was like super starved and kept grabbing food off the plate before anyone else could even get to it!!

Another thing is today was the third day in a row of drinking and my system cannot handle it anymore - sheer revolt is happening - this is also because of the shady vodka from yesterday - but today my body was like retching and sweating and punishing me in the worst way possible - blocking me up!! but I was nice to it and drank a lot of water so finally opened up! not things anyone needs to know but still....Whatever happened to the good old days when we partied 5 days a week and drank for 7? running around drinking vodka with glucon D for lack of better options - when did age catch up with me and hw did I not notice???

I love the people in this new office - they are just fun and open and thre is very little politics [ not that there was a lot of politics in Radio] but still.....everyone is super helpful and noone is out to do you in [I like the way that sentence sounds!]. It's just crazy working in an office where the MD sits behind you and is super charged and knows everyone's name tho I've heard he has some really 'severe' bad moods - these are all new office terms - 'severe', 'sorted' and 'vicious' [hint from helpful ex employee]!! my boss needs to texturise everything which means give it depth.....u learn new things everyday and in this office I'm like the oldest of the young generation!!

Ive been reading this blog called the compulsive confessor and I swear its compelling reading! she just rants about her regular life and u're like me wants me wants!! I think its supposed to be one of the group blogs where different people post things - there is one specific whining page!! it's quite strange the things people put on the web nowadays - you can really spend the entire day with other's people thoughts and expressions. Its not like uve never met them and you are not likely to either but u know them in a way you might not know other people who you interact with on a physical basis daily!!

Ok - I think this entry is going nowhere so going to finish now - these are really random musing but just felt like writing so...

January 16

I will survive!!

Where do I begin?? I've had major upheavals and changes in my life in the last couple of months - S shouted at me...never had that happen before...been changed from retail to corporate with a new boss and lastly but definitely not leastly my leave is in question...something which I have been planning for the last 2 yrs is suddenly unsanctioned even though it's within all company limits....gaaah!! I have a whole new list of clients - none of which I understand, none of which I can control....but the leave issue really sucks! Have not been able to establish equation with new boss - good or bad to just inform him of decision and chuck it all....best option comes from father who says quit job - go on holiday and come back to find less stressful job...sounds like a plan!!

I seem to have entered a vicious cycle where I say I want something and act like I want it and when I get it I'm really unhappy and unhappy in a heart being squeezed kind of way - I think that's the worst kind of way....not that Ive ever seen any other kind of way but people always talk of their heart breaking....mine feels like its being squeezed and I can't breathe! I seem to make this decisions based on other people's wants - I know it's wrong in theory but having someone else say it to me makes me upset and I decided I wnt to change it and then when the change happens I run around trying to unchange it until the next opinion upsets me again be it a book also and then again but the changes always have an effect so it's like a million little changes which will eventually make the one big change....and now I think I'm rambling so will stop this tirade...I think so tired that not understanding myself or my life anymore which is the biggest change.

I've always had a semblance of control on where things are going but in the last year...it just seems to have gone haywire - I think Ive complained before....I also have to blog about the numerous weddings I have attended in the last month and the non stop activity which made me feel popular for a bit!!

October 14

Change Change Change!!

It's quite creepy but when I met the palmist and tarot reader in June, they both predicted lots of change for me in October which both advised me not to fight but accept with open arms since the changes would eventually be positive. My current dilemma is what is open arms? should I just lie down and accept the changes or should I actively champion the changes? For anyone who knows me, I generally choose the path of least resistance, I really need to be forced into taking a decision that could change my life - If I want to do something, you cannot change my mind but If I'm ambivalent then I cannot make that decision and these days in my life, the greatest emotion seems to be apathy. I am not actively trying to make decisions tho I know I need to....

October 26

Harakiri!!

I think the change everyone was talking about was a change in me - I've realised who I used to be when I was younger and who I am now are completely different people in some ways - I think my overall personality has remained the same but some traits have definitely changed. I've never been very aggro but nowadays even simple confrontations seem to be traumatic - I think mainly because I'm not the ones instigating them.....and nowadays I realise I really need a reason before I draw sword and enter battle.....if I cannot see an end result, why start a battle that is already over? but that never used to be the case, If I felt slighted or wronged, I just charged and the end result was always good - unexpected maybe....but good. Sometimes the battles nowadays feel like Harakiri to me.......I think when I was younger self inflicted torture was the only torture I went through so maybe it was ok.....but now as a trying to be grown up, it seems such a waste to self flagellate when there is always a ready whip around the corner.

Now Random para's from previous blogs that are relevant in explaining where I'm coming from:

September 02

Life carries on!

U know so much stuff happens and then if you don't document that minute it all just slips away - and that's my problem just now - I think my life is slipping away!!Working leaves you no time for deep relationships and the ones you have nurtured are now also tortured since there is lack of contact - be it physical or mental...physical because you never meet and mental because everyone is so tied up in their own 'seperate' lives now that it's hard to connect the same way as when we led the same lives and were on the same page!!

After I wrote the last blog, I met a friend who echoed my sentiments about life slipping away and I wondered if everyone is facing the same problems, how are we supposed to have productive lives with happy relationships when we have no idea where these things are? I always thought, at this age [ which seemed very far away to me then - age 25], I would have this jetsetting career with arm candy fiance and generally be very put together - instead reality is that I'm still crazy by nature, I'm not really sure which direction I want my career to take [ this has basic assumption tht I have choice which may not be true at rate I'm going], and there is no fiance, arm candy, eye candy or otherwise. I'm not sure which pains the most - since everyone's career looks to me in the same boat - but a lot of people I know are getting married and voluntarily at that, I'm not counting arranged/social constraints but people genuinely in love and I really want to know how do they know that? Is is just me whose life seems to be out of my control and I'm going with the flow or is it a phenomenon with people in general and the people getting married are the anomalies?

I think this will give everyone an idea of whre I'm coming from - as and when I have relevant posts to link , will do so.