Oscar Worthy?

I feel like I watched a movie after months - Actually I did watch a movie after months! The Husbaand went off to babysit his best friend (whose wife and child are absconding in the UK) and I decided to catch up on some Oscar fare! I started with The Kids Are All Right followed by the much touted Social Network.

I have to say I cannot understand the typecast butch with the short hair and the manly clothes! I'm certain there must be relationships where both are feminine or both are somewhat butch. In this case, Annette Bening is called Nick, dresses in trousers and vests - I understand the controlling part but the need to be masculine? is it not possible to be lesbian, in charge and feminine? I understood Julianne Moore's character more - the sleeping with the man does not imply she is straight or even bisexual just that she is tortured and making bad choices to force the situation. The movie is good but apart from the fact that it was a same sex relationship, all the issues seem the same. Mark Ruffalo as the 'F***ing Interloper' trying to move into a ready made family, was the best thing in the movie for me but I cannot understand the non conclusion of the sub plots like Joni kissing the boy or Tanya and the other fruit picker (this maybe just me though with the need to tie up all threads!).

Having read "The Accidental Billionaire', I have to say the movie stayed true to the book in most part but still the book had more impact. Maybe watching the movie, little less than a year after everyone else creates a certain prejudice but I was certainly not raving about the film. The book very clearly states that for Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook is the biggest thing in the world but that did not come out for me in the movie. In the case of Eduardo Saverin, the things he might have done seem personal and the point of Sean Parker is not overtly stated as a threat. The music does set the scene and Jesse Eisenberg acts the part of a borderline genius but I'm not sure that A Girl is the source of all his angst.

I also thought that the films very not very gripping but that could be the effect of watching them at home on a not very large screen - the distractions and ability to pause does not create the tension to pay attention! I really could not understand the Oscar hype around the films in comparison to previous films which I loved - The Reader, Million Dollar Baby, even Life is Beautiful! 

Next on the list to conquer - True Grit and The Fighter.

and that's what you missed on....

Glee! That's generally the way they open the show after the recap - The first few episodes of this season have focused on Kurt and his issues with being the only gay person in the school. Well, What I missed on is having a gay BFF - I feel like my life is somewhat incomplete! I also wanna be a 'Fag Hag' - tho I'm not sure if that's a politically correct term - if it's not,I take it back but I still wanna!

Actually, I cannot claim to KNOW a single gay person much less claim them as BFF's - even the people who apparently are homosexual are certainly not telling me!! I think it's a vibe I give off - maybe I come across as judgemental?? Tho I really cannot see how that's possible considering for most people, I'm left of the middle and for some people, I'm not even on the path!

Couple of my friends have the gay BFF thing going and they make it sound like a secret society! Oh! my gay BFF did this - My gay BFF did that! I want a key! I also want to have friends who have 'gaydar' and say things like 'The closet ain't big enough for him, honey'!!

I think my new year's resolution this year - instead of adopting a child for education, I'm going to adopt a gay BFF for my education!

Sea of Poppies

Ok just finished reading Amitav Ghosh 'Sea of Poppies', the first in the Ibis trilogy. What really stood out for me which is why I'm documenting it here is the version of 'Hindoostanee' that the English in this book speak which is a sort of transalation/bastardisation of 'Oordoo/Hindi'. Words I learnt today:

• Loll-Shrub-->Lal Sharab-->Claret
• Brandy-Pawnee-->Paani-->Water
• Kubber-->Khabar-->News
• Burrempooter-->Brahmaputra
• Rascally Roger--> Raja of Rashkalli
• Bobachee-->Bawarchee-->Cook
• Chitchky
• Dumbpoke-->Dumpukht
• Cursies-->Kursis
• Tuckiers-->Takia
• Tobbler -->Tabla
• Loocher -->Luccha/Lukha
• Tottee-connah/Cacatorium-->Tutti-->Toilet
• Chuckeroo-->
• More-Roger-->Maharaja
• Cuzzanah-->Khazana-->Treasure
• Gudda-->Donkey
• Zubben-->Zubaan-->Language
• Gubbrow-->Ghabrao-->Scare
• BeeBee-->Biwi-->Wife/Lady of the house(BurraBeeBee)
• Nil-Rotten-->Neel Rattan

The one good thing about not having cable is that one does not get distracted watching random crap on TV and thus I have managed to read Stieg Larsson's masterpieces, Sea of Poppies, Rick Riordan's Lost Hero and the Red Pyramid, Eat Pray Love - at this rate, I think I should finally buy a copy of Homer's Odyssey or at the very least the Iliad!

Looking back....

I wrote this post in May 2008. Apallingly, I've only struck off two things!! So I've decided to review the list and see what I did accomplish....

   1. Visit Leh-Ladakh
   2. Study Fashion History - the subject can change but the thought is to study further.
   3. Live in London/New York/Paris - preferably while I'm studying
   4. Go deep sea diving/snorkelling
   5.  Got burnt on a white beach - Nha Trang, Vietnam
   6. Be Brave enough to wear a 2 piece string bikini once
   7. Go for a calligraphy course
   8. Be more technology friendly - learn how to operate DVD players, iPod's, fancy phones
   9. Do the heritage walk at  Rajasthan - Road trip in March 2010!
  10. Visit a sanctuary in India - Bandipur, Jim Corbett, any any!!
  11. Practice my french in Pondicherry
  12. Run a marathon
  13. Learn to cook 4 awesome dishes and make 3 fantastic cocktails and create 2 delicious deserts
  14. Print out digital photos to put memories of a life
  15. Create a signature look - either with a color or style
  16. Honeymoon in (Thailand)- the wedding thing gets taken care of in this one
  17. Own a property
  18. Vipassana/Art of living
  19. Stop smoking
  20. Manage my own money

Ok clearly, for me, list making does not help me accomplish any thing! I don't think I could have accomplished all of these by 30, given my lazy nature but to have just done 2 - shameful! espescially since pts. 1,10,11 and 18 involve travel which should have motivated me! Pt.13 was too hopeful to begin with - I'm on the way for Pt.19!
When I was living through the last 2 years, It seemed busy enough but clearly I've achieved much less than I could have - there are months which nothing to show for it! My resolution for the year 2012 (clearly 2011 has marriage related resolutions...) is to travel more and self improvement!

In my non missed absence:

• I got married - three times
• had a wedding after party in a fancy ass suite at the Taj Lands End with champagne flowing
• visited Thailand for the first time (Honeymoon)
• stayed in a Pool Villa
• bought fabulous and fabulously expensive shoes
• moved home (Khar)
• been sick for 3 weeks
• started playing House
• discovered maid trauma
• bought things like vegetables, masalas,
• obsessed about putting boxes away
• own 4 chairs too many
• attended 4 weddings - 2 on the same day
• ignored the sales
• started and finished the millenium trilogy
• started planning a trip to the States 

Since TheCharade now has me addicted to fashion blogs, I consider it my duty to opine on the fashion of major awards ceremony. Presenting The Golden Globes:

• Think Amber Riley looked superb 
• Julianne Moore - My God!who said Red clashes with Pink?
• Justin Bieber wears what I was trying to convince my husband to wear for the wedding - Suit with sneakers!
• I understand shoes not matching each other - but to then not match the dress as well! Helena Bonham Carter - explain yourself.
• These 3 look like left overs from Oscar 2010 - Carrie Underwood, Olivia Wilde,
• If January Jones ran out of material, she should have put the apron in front to better use!
• Jennifer Lopez returns to her Latin (read Mexican) roots - by wearing a Poncho!
• This year's icecream - Lea Michele!
• I know it's Glee - but polka dots and checks!! 
• Since I only bought the inner wear, I'll just drape the sheer curtains like a sarong: Halle Berry! 
• Competing for vampire of the week - Jayma Mays and  Piper Perabo!

That's all, folks! Stay tuned for further updates and the Oscars!

Love is blind....

and dumb and in my case, mostly also deaf!

presenting "Amazing Choices" - the line of boys I've had crushes on over the years:

1. The boy who spoke no english part 1 - in his defense, very sweet. 
2. the boy who spoke no english part 2 - in my defense, I was stupid!
3. the boy who spoke no english part 3 also known as the boy who had a gf, dated me and married a 3rd girl - There is no defense!
4. the boy in the red sleeveless tshirt at a party - in my defense, I was drunk!
5. the boy with the beavis and butthead laugh - in his defense, he was stupid!
6. the boy with the cap which said mine is longer than yours - in my defense, it was funny!
7. the boy with the abba song - not so bad really, just the friend hated it!
8. the boy with snot on his nose - in my defense,I was very young and did not know any better!
9. the drunk drummer - the whole college also!
10. the stoned hostelite - half the college in this case!

Saved by the following:

• my best friend's brother
• My best friend
• finally the Juggler!!

Turning Three Oh!

April this year, heralded the first of my friends to turn 30, followed by one in May - this month sees the list take off with 2, then 3 in September followed by another 2 in October then the random strays culminating with me in May next year .




30 now seems to me to be the big step into Responsibility - it is the sense that I will finally have to take charge of my life. In the 20's, I could shrug it off – too busy enjoying graduate studies, living away from home and then financial independence for the first time! Being responsible for myself could always take a backset but at 30, there is no such excuse!


Having taken the first step by getting married *huge sigh of relief*, I threaten to embrace it inspite of the 19 year old in my heart. Looking around me, I see all mature individuals actually making difficult life choices. At this threshold, I see friends raising children, having babies, planning weddings. I also see friends making difficult decisions to end marriages/relationships that are not working or refusing to settle for anything. I do see people who are still stuck in a timewarp, discussing life and retaining attitudes of a life, 10 years ago but this *thank god* is a limited number.


After this year, I can no longer claim to be a child (never mind what my parents think!) - I will be living on my own, *running* a house, responsible to another individual as an equal - all scary scary thoughts. I know friends have done it and succeeded very well but it is difficult!


30 also implies financial planning - what used to be water through my fingers earlier now needs to be accounted for with issues like rent, savings, and education to consider. Debt free credit card existence is no longer good enough - in fact, debts like house loans, car loans are actively embraced.


Adulthood is finally around the corner and in spite of having delayed it by 10 years, How can I still not know if I’m ready for it?

Recommended Reading: Mike Gayle - Turning 30

"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."

- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.

There are many versions of the title quote... my mother received this on a deflt dish " Chance made us sisters, Hearts made us friends". Recently, I've been reading a lot of posts on friendships and also on the different kinds e.g. The bride talks of her circle of friends and also whether friends/friendship should affect life decisions.
She also noted to me that I undertook change (moving cities to study and then to work) and never let the friends left behind influence me. Also both changes but espescially the move to study landed with a fabulous lot of people making the 2 years a joy - the lack of education may be lamented by the parents but the experience was excellent! Today at work, an office colleague pointed out my social nature which begs this point - one of the reasons, change becomes easy for me is I'm adaptable. This is different in nature from malleable - If I don't want to do it, you can't make me but I'm willing to adapt to what you want. I make an effort to integrate and generally this works.
I recently went for the alumni meet of above attended university, for the first time sans my gaggle of girls and enjoyed myself with the old friends. I must note I no longer regularly meet the gang mostly due to the fact of the Fancy and marginally also because they all live in different suburbs. Here I must include this quote: "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."- Ralph Waldo Emerson. When you are practically living with people for 2 years, there is nothing that is hidden, there is nothing that is sacred, there is no line. However years on, I wonder about this line - can I put it in place now? I no longer live with you which implies a lack of daily contact - this lack of contact spanning to weeks and months - at what point do I say, we are no longer who we were, we have moved on...maybe without intending to but the fact is, it happened.

"Have no friends not equal to yourself."- Confucious (551 - 497 BC) Chinese philosopher .
What is wrong about the title quote though is that even in friends, sometimes it is not a choice - it is making the best out of what is there. School friends tend to the most numerous and least discerning - she sat next to you in class: Friends for life. This I find especially true, later in life, there is a tremendous amount of residual affection for these group of people. Having a base of so much in common, it becomes easy to reconnect and thus take the friendship to a higher level.
With my MBA institute friends, I honestly cannot say that there was a common thread- everyone came from very diverse backgrounds, from large cities to small towns to different cultures - progressive, regressive (this is my opinion of course) but these made for the best experiences - I cannot say it transalates into life long friendship with everybody tho.

This post had been lying in draft for months and I've decided to publish today coz yesterday, I got a completely different point of view from someone who I would now consider a friend[alternatively to use Sheldon's lingo from The Big Bang Theory-treasured acquaintance]. He puts a sell by date on friendships of 5 years. According to him, no friendship last beyond that due to various factors - girls/boys, distance, change of interests. I don't think it's true - while I agree you need to tryharder at these friendships [a fact I have always pointed out to people - good relationships don't build themselves, any kind!], it's not always work and mostly, it's worth it. I don't have the kind of time I did when I was in college or school to spend with a person and establish common ground. Most of the time, I meet new people while standing in a bar [ not conducive to deep conversations, I might tell you!], which will never give you the type of history you have with someone who has known you for more years than you care to remember!

Both my BFF's are not from school but the 11th std, but that itself makes it 13 yrs that I've known them - I have friends from before that and I have friends from just now as well. Some friendships have dropped off along the way - one because I discovered a lack of interest and one because of a lack of spine but this is not the rule!

If you go into a friendship thinking it has a sell off date, How will you ever be able to establish the kind of relationship that humans need to survive?

Things I have NOT done....

• Blogged (self evident)
• Read (except thrashy magazines in the parlour)
• Watched a movie
• Holidayed
• Excercised
• Dieted
• Bought Christmas Gifts
• Organised New Year's Eve celebrations
• Eaten at Soul Fry in ages
• Find the Lamy pen I lost
• Called my aunt in Gujurat
• Decided my wedding party

basically, I followed people on Twitter and spent money like crazy!!

Random Thoughts

Random Thought # 1: In India, in the 80's action films were so popular coz people wanted to rebel against the sytem, they saw the 'Angry Young Man' as their representatives, fighting against the injustice [I've heard License Raj was not so good - I don't know!].Therefore cotton candy movies do well today coz people aspire to lead those lives which is a possibility in this open economy. They see the young urban adult as someone who they can possibly be given enough time etc.

Random Thought # 2: Indians are not service oriented people - we always try to cut corners - we are subservient by nature but contrarily, we cannot excel at service. It is at odds with our personality - in contrast, the chinese are extremely service oriented without the personality to drive it. What the world needs is front office Indian and back office Chinese. (this came after discussion with thebride)

Random Thought # 3: Why Oh Why cannot I be a particular person? so I don't have to spend 10% of my time rectifying my own created messes. I think I need a chinese back office for me.

Random Thought # 4: I love Girlie nights, I love my girl friends and I hate it when they move away espescially 2 in the same week.

Random Thought # 5: Next year, should I go back and study something unrelated and try and change my life direction or should I just stay where I am?

Astrological help?

I've been having one of those months where nothing seems to go my way - it's not necessarily a major catastrophe but it's one of those season's where I overlook all the little things and land up not in trouble but with a leaden weight of guilt in my stomach - this in turn leads to wanting to drown my sorrows in alcohol which further leads to late nights and the cycle continues.

This has always been my biggest problem - I used to have a higher than average intelligence and I can retain information - I'm willing to work hard and I can work smart but I lack an attention to detail! so it will always be the small slips that catch me and these will always come at a time when I am facing a larger issue which is not necessarily my fault but compounded by this minor infraction, in totality gains a larger meaning.

I've discussed this with friends who also screw up and from their experience, we are not the only ones who screw up - others do it too! they are just more proficient at denying it or avoiding the issue altogether. It's just lucky few, who seem to do it consistently and feel it majorly. The best solution is over look it and pretend it never happened. Yes - good in theory, in practice crap - coz I'm one of those people who admit fault and always with an expressive face, cannot drum up cheer in the face of flaws.

For non work related issues, a classic example, cheap deal to fly to HKG - ticket for Rs.15K. Grabbed it, trying to work out dates and find out when the juggler is going to be in HKG. The first set of dates I chose had expired by the time I finally went to pay. When I decided on the next set and got leave approved, I went ahead and booked. 30 minutes later, it turns out the juggler will be in HKG the week after me....and 3 days later, during a discussion with my parents about how I think I won't have to change planes at the halt in SQ since it's only a 15 min difference, it turns out yes, it is a 15 min difference with an additional 24 hrs!! Yes, I have a whole day in SQ - which is not such a bad thing since, I've never seen and I have a cousin there so it all turned out ok but it's the attention to detail thing again!

I'm hoping that my moons were not in alignment this fortnight making the coming week, a pleasant experience otherwise as my twitters often read, this day/week/I need to curl up and die!

Stress

definitions by Urbandictionary.com

1. To be overwhelmed with responsiblity
2. To contain an enormous amount of pressure
3. An unpleasant by-product of life in modern society

It also means ' a california slang term which defines a type of weed that is so shitty it causes "stress". ' Oh Well! U learn new things everyday!

Marriage - societal obligation or human choice?

After a mega discussion on the institution of marriage with The bride, since she has put up her views on marriage, I am going to discuss my take on it.

The first thing I really need to vent is the infamous question - 'Are you going to settle down soon?'. so like listen up, I'm 28, have a good job, do not have any substance abuse problem, have a steady boyfriend, how much more settled can I get? do I need to have a ring and 2.2 kids to be settled? I agree living with my parents may not signify settled but thats just Indian culture - if we lived in a different country I could be out of the house since I do make enough money to support myself - not sure about family but myself for sure. Is that not settled enough for people?

Don't get me wrong tho - I totally believe in the institution of marriage - I don't think its just societal sanction - I honestly believe it is a person's choice - you are declaring this person makes you happy in more ways than one. The rest of your family is handed to you on a plate from your parents to your children, you do choose your friends but its not the same relationship. Your spouse is someone who you declare - this is my partner, I want to grow with this person, I will create life if possible with this person. To digress and address the issue of noone wants to have sex with the one person for the rest of their lives, the commitment is also the inherent sacrifice in it - that you forgo your other options. I don't think the term marriage implies just a piece of paper - it signifies the emotions, the desires, our need to belong and our need to own. We need to say this person belongs to me - it is mine!

The first line of any sociology textbook states 'Man is a social animal' - this is true - we have evolved from primates where there in A alpha male - in our society, there is no such sharing. That again is a choice!

I think that's one thing I got from my religion - everything is a choice and I cannot believe that marriage is a sociological conditioning to be with a person - it has to be a choice people make, a declaration of love.

A little J

Ever think some people have all the luck?? Don't get me wrong - I have a fabulous life for the most part but some days, it just seems other people catch really good breaks. I don't know if I've posted about my ex-friend [she married my ex-boss and I found out about it when he announced it in my ex-company]. Anyhoo since that story can go on forever while I give the background and foreground and some side bits, let me just get to the current point - she has now been sent to Cannes for the film festival where her company is putting up a stall. After which, she is going to Italy with her husband which I don't envy so much ;-)! but really, being officially sent to Cannes - sounds like a dream to me!

Weighing scales for life

I have issues currently - I'm a little unhappy with a situation at work and I have no idea how to rectify it and eventually it all boils down to balance.
If I crib about every little thing, then I'm the whiny bitch so if there is a big issues, everyone is like oh just another problem. However if you don't make a noise about the little things, when the big issue comes, it's like how is this suddenly a problem?
Also, if I am going to demand these rights, I then need to fit into the concept of the working person in India which is think of work 24/7. I'm good at what I do but I like my life as well. The alternative is to keep quiet and enjoy the life that I do have.
It's about striking a balance: At which point do I start complaining and at what point do I say this is the end of the fight - anything more and it's not worthwhile for me?

28 and counting...

With the apathy that I'm currently going through regarding the birthday, I decided a recap post is in order just so I can count my blessings and feel glad for my life.

• My mother has not added heart problems to her list of ailments - she gave us a minor scare but other than that all good - my dad as usual hale and hearty
• The juggler is still wonderful and promising to undergo behavioural changes - what is it with women that we feel a compulsive need to change stuff?
• My job seems to be getting better since I've been moved completely out of sales to a marketing profile- not entirely happy with the reporting structure but I could be surprised
• I'm finally a Godmother - R had an adorable baby boy in January
• My money woes seem to be decreasing - I've learnt a little bit of saving also works
• My weight while not decreasing has ceased to bother me - I have attained nirvana in this aspect
• I no longer count my joys with the number of shoes I own - this shows that I have matured as an individual
• I am come to terms with the fact that I am a Vampire lover. Exhibit A: Luke Perry who starred in the film ' Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Exhibit B: David Boreanaz - Angel in the TV series ' Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Exhibit C: Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen in the film series 'Twilight'
• I have MTV Europe on my TV which gives me access to English music 24/7 - However I only watch it once a week but still...
• My Scramble IQ on facebook is above 160

This seems to be enough stuff to make my life worthwhile - So I'm doing dinner on Saturday!
28, I will survive you - you cannot be worse than 26!