Farewell 2008....*

You went by too soon and let's hope what started with you will be succesful in the future.

I love recapping what happened in the last 365 days - it gives me a sense of what I accomplished and What I did right. Yes, I know - I'm like an ostrich - I hide my head in the sand and hope disaster can't see me but I like to focus on the positive so here is the recap of my life circa 2008.

• Started a year with a trip to the Golden Triangle for 4 days with The R's and the boy
• D got married
• Visited Mussourie
• Another Engagement
• Relationship doubt
• Visited the S's in Hong Kong
• Holidayed in Vietnam for 10 days
• Reconnected with the Apostles
• Self doubt
• Job profile changed
• Still have the boyfriend
• also discovered the boy looks like Luke Perry - Yay!
• Discovered 'How I Met Your Mother' as the new favourite TV show
• Decided to cut unhealthy associates
• Enjoyed Christmas with loads of old friends
• also enjoyed the new years with them

*This blog has been sitting in my draft folder for like 10 days - I've just decided to publish without photies or anything so I can have a black and white reminder of the last year.

Poetry, Paisa and a pinch of salt!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee."

This is what I have just heard, along with Aubade - Vikram Seth, Pablo Neruda and Simon Armitage [who ride beautiful dark humour but I digress] at an engagement - Yes! I repeat... there was poetry reading at an engagement and this has just confirmed my opinion that I am a reverse snob. I look down from my pedestal of an ordinary middle class individual and laugh at the pretensions of the high and mighty who lament the loss of the Taj as their 'adda' and think reading poetry at their engagements proves them to be English aficionados or whatever else they are trying to say. I have realised I revel in my "Shopping in Linking Road" status as much as I enjoy the occasional visit to a 5 star. I look at my sense of balance and think that I am better than them coz I can do it all - I am not limited by the excess of money to only wearing certain clothes or eating certain foods. And while I readily admit to the pang of jealousy about the lack of economy that allows the rich to travel whenever, I take comfort in the fact that this very fact makes the experience novel for me and my eye is not jaded making every new location fresh and undiscovered and hard earned. The sad part of this is that eventually, I am no better than anybody else coz I am also looking down at people who I think are not worthy of my attention since they have it all!

Another example of how I express this is the fact that I think SRK is better than Aamir Khan mainly due to the point that Shah Rukh is very clear on who he is and how he brings SRK to every role - he does not have pretensions to histrionics or wants to spout about the skin of a role - he says I act like myself in all my films and you know what?? It works - that kind of attitude is refreshing and I appreciate the honesty though it may be a platform/gimmick - it is much more believable than going on about your 'Art'.

Tribute to my boss

Definiton from Urban dictionary.com
self-important - a person who overestimates their own importance and exhibits arrogant or pompous behavior aka lunchmeat
"That self-important ass just cut in front of us in line; he's too busy lunchmeating on her cell phone to notice anyone but himself."
Synonyms:
self-important pompous arrogant conceited self-centered egotistical megalomania delusions of grandeur power-mad ignorant goded pretentious vain stuck-up obnoxious selfish egotistic

Just makes me feel better to say it in black and white!

I don't know how effective these things are going to be but even if you can do one of these things - it might make a difference. Remember, Boond Boond se Sagar bharta Hai!

- Candle light march at 6.00 pm on Wednesday, 3rd December 2008 at the Gateway of India
- Sign an online petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/26novAct/petition.html
- there is a website http://www.smallchange.in/ which I cannot access but people are recommending - apparently it is an open petition against irresponsible media and to put in place a code of conduct for them which was started by Vishal Dadlani - the site is now hosted at this address http://smallchangedotin.wordpress.com/
- http://www.avaaz.org/en/india_undivided/
- http://www.petitiononline.com/oran2109/petition.html
- For political awareness, go to http://www.voteindia.in/


There should be other things possible - will update the list as soon as I figure them out!

Wanted: Immigration to New Zealand

**This post is more rambling than usual**

I'm sick - sick of living in a country which is repeatedly attacked and still remains completely ineffectual in either preventing or dealing with a tragedy of this magnitude. What amazes me is that time and time again, we are hit in places of immense strategic importance to this city - the trains (7/2006), The Stock Exchnage (6/1993), VT station (11/2008) and the political platforms people choose are regional! Instead of focusing on security, we encourage violence and disunity. I feel it more coz as a Roman Catholic, we have witnessed ugly acts of violations and not a thing has been done about it by any politician - too scared to upset their vote banks! I really don't want to be like the Jews in Germany - thinking it will never happen to me and then be herded to a gas chamber. It may not be so extreme I admit but I think maybe, there is a writing on the wall and I should take some steps to read it!

The sad thing is, I never wanted to leave - sure like everybody else, I considered the studying abroad but dismissed it realising was quite happy to stay here and do regular Indian degrees since had no plan to move anywhere. In the last year, after visits to the cousin in Hong Kong thought would be nice to work there but again, never took the trouble to actually search. But now, I am so motivated - I feel persecuted and now I feel violated coz these are places we hang out at - I pass Leopolds all the time between the walk from Mondegar to Theobroma [I never enter since I'm a little paranoid after reading 'Shantaram' about the types that hang out there but still...]. We were staying at the Taj 2 weeks ago with family - the only place I have not been in the last 5 years is VT station!! and all these places have been attacked and it's not so far away. An aunt lives next to Nariman house, a friend's friend family was killed - with her in hospital, nobody can go to work - the misery is overwhelming.

And all through it, noone does or says anything of value. I agree, it's brave to lead from the front but the thought is also foolhardy - when you go down, who will take charge? The prime minister makes a speech practically 24 hours after the nightmare begins, the politician whose name and aggressive thoughts have taken up so much news space and time, has nothing to say on the marathi manoos being attacked, the military needs to be mobilised from the capital since there is obviously nothing of value in this city to station troops over here and worst of all, we don't have the sense to impose curfew on the city so there are scores of people on the streets, all ready targets for machine guns fired from the hands of mad men.

At the end of the day, it is insanity - that people can be brainwashed into killing indiscriminately, that too with salvation dangled at the end of it. I ask you, which God will reward you for taking life?

As I finally finish this post to publish, it appears all houses and hotels have been stormed, the terrorists have been laid to rest and now all that remains is for me to wait till they decide to visit my home!

Hi! My name is Curly and I am an addict.

It's true - I have a substance abuse problem as 'Carrie' says, except mine is nice smelling cosmetics and not footwear. I do have a mega collection of footwear as well but I don't think that's unhealthy - ok lets focus on one problem at a time here, shall we?
Back to my junkie status - I own more than a kilo of make up which is a lot for a girl who hardly wears any on a daily basis - I more than make up for that when I go 'partay' but....on a daily basis, I'm lucky if I get some kajal on. Then why on earth do I have 5 different eye liners, 6 shadow palettes, mascaras, lipsticks - one item of make up that I never wear as well as the many different powders and glitters and what not? and this is not even taking into account my obsession with lipglosses. However these are minor trangressions compared with the mother of my problems - creams, lotions and moisturisers (CLM for future reference). I have excessively dry skin - the kind that scales if left to it's own devices - thus I don't and smother it instead in every variety of CLM's I can find.
In the recent past, this has included:

• Johnson's Baby Lotion
• Baby oil
• Biotique massage oil
• Jergen's Summer Glow moisturiser
• Almond Oil
• Vaseline Intensive Care lotion with Cocoa butter
• Bath and Body Works Sweet pea cream
• Nivea
• Efaderm & Emoderm - these were dermatologist recommended
• Freeman's Caramel and Vanilla body lotion
• Freeman's Peppermint foot lotion
• Free Man Raspberry Hand Lotion

And there are different face and under eye creams - Yes! I need to use undereye creams!
This post was actually inspired after S commented that my christmas list has more creams than anything else and those creams were all recommended on the beautyaddict blog which is a site I'm raving about. I just wish I earned in dollars so I could buy half the things she talks about - I've never even heard of half the brands she talks about or half the uses of the products! It makes me wonder how shallow I am that the fact that Sephora has some special deal on excites me more that Barrack Obama winning the presidency!

The Gospel Truth....

According to The American Heritage Dictionary, 'Gospel' is from Middle English gospel, from Old English godspell, meaning "good news", translating the Latin evangelium, which itself was borrowed from Greek euangelion.

As defined by the online site freedictionary,

gos·pel
n.
1. often Gospel The proclamation of the redemption preached by Jesus and the Apostles, which is the central content of Christian revelation.
2. a. Gospel Bible One of the first four New Testament books, describing the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and recording his teaching.
b. A similar narrative.
3. often Gospel A lection from any of the first four New Testament books included as part of a religious service.
4. A teaching or doctrine of a religious teacher.
5. Music Gospel music.
6. Something, such as an idea or principle, accepted as unquestionably true.....

which makes it all the more shocking that the very basis for the title phrase may not be as hard and fast as we would like to believe. If half of what I read [Fiction novels, I admit] is true, then what the original words of Christ were and what we practice today are poles apart in some ways - if not all.

Everybody knows that the religion was adapted as a majority religion in the 4th Century - thats practically 400 years after Christ - and at this time, did the Gospel as we know it appeared - where the best texts were selected out of the many that were written at the time of Christ or just after. It's also a well know fact that some elements of the different religion were also amalgamated into Christianity to make the change more palatable to the citizens [I'm practically quoting Dan Brown and the DaVinci code here,I know!!]. But what I sometimes wonder is.... was the essence of the religion changed as well to make it acceptable to power and the people?

I've heard the stories of the Ethiopian bibles being burnt and the Portugese burning the Syrian Christians ones in India because the versions were so different - the Ethiopians were one of the first conversts apparently and the Syrian Christians were converted by St. Thomas - an original apostle so they would really have versions of the time what would be the most correct and so radically different from what the portugese believed in the 16th century that they were deemed heretical and all the copies were burnt.

When you know all these things and then I read what I term Christian Fiction books where the story revolves around find a relic of Jesus Christ, I am convinced I am being targeted by a viral marketing campaign that wants to spread the word that there is truth out there to be found and we should not blindly follow without asking questions. I agree in some ways with catholocism that some things need to function on faith but there is no need for blanket rule!

Christmas Wish list

Dear Santa,

I am writing this list now so I can get your attention early before the flood of letters happen - I have been a fairly good girl this year - he is my boyfriend and that is allowed...I have not cheated or lied except in my job where it is expected and I have tried to eat my vegetables wherever possible. With that out of the way, we can move to the matter at hand which all I want for Christmas is

• My 2 front teeth, actually my 2 wisdom teeth
• L'Occitane Amande Shower oil
• Bath and Body works Oil to Cream Warming Body Wash [Japanese Cherry Blossom]
• Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Honey Drops Cream
• Urban Decay Primer potion
• Body Shop make up brushes
• Tickets and Hotel Stay in Eastern Europe
• Bottega Veneta bag
• Alberta Ferreti strapless draped dress
• Manolo Blahnik stilettoes
• Jimmy Choo stilettoes
• Hidesign bag
• Freeman Chocolate Mint bodywash
• Harry Winston Diamonds
• Leonardo Dicaprio

I would just like to add that this list does not need to be fulfilled this Christmas - take as many as you like till I turn 35.

Yours forever,
Curly Girlie.

I love you, Leo!

'What's eating Gilbert Grape?' has always been one of my favourite movies - mainly coz I have a huge huge crush on Johnny Depp [Crush is putting it mildly - let's just say if Mr. JD was in my vicinity, I am not responsible for my actions] but Gilbert's younger brother was also cute in the movie. Imagine my surprise, when a few years later, it turned out the brother was not autistic, could paint and spit far distances and would eventually drown to save his lady love - Jack Dawson in 'Titanic'. It seemed that with the Oscars, Leonardo Dicaprio had arrived. To me, it seemed like he was another one of the good looking actors like the 80's brat pack, who would act in a wide variety of movies doing essentially versions of the same role and continue being a super star. It still takes me by surprise that he has managed to override his good looks and do supremely interesting films time after time. The first time, he burst onto my consciousness post Titanic, was in 'Romeo+Juliet', which though I loved the movie, just enforced my belief that he was going to be a heart throb. Then 'Catch me if you can' happened and I was like ok then...After I saw 'The Aviator' I knew I was wrong. The man is fabulous - it's really not fair, how can you be so good looking and have the courage of your convictions to act in all these great films as well? and date these greek goddess type women as well....Gaah!Of all the Leo films I have watched,the most recent being 'Body of Lies', I have to say 'Blood Diamond' is my hands down favourite - his character in the movie and the last scene where he realises he can never leave Africa is so poignant...of course, the massive pink diamond helped as well.

I realise there is a reason people say to wait a while or not judge a book by the cover...If I can write off Leonardo Dicaprio, can you imagine the potential of the people I might have dismissed through the years??

Thank You for....

....my wonderful parents think I'm the best thing that happened to them
....my aunts and godmother who do not stop the process of actually giving birth to prevent them from mothering me
....for the wonderful boyfriend who is so tolerant and so loving, I'm amazed!
....best friends who I have had forever and still talk to me even though I drive them crazy
....a comfortable job where I get paid every month
....the short ride to work everyday which adds about an hour to my life
....all necessary working parts of a body barring strange skin
....no life scarring experiences that could shut me down for life
....the cutest niece in the universe
....the mother who made me want to travel
....the father who let me go even to places that they disapproved of
....the parents who showed me the joy of reading
....american TV!!
....all the yummy smelling products that my entire salary goes on!
....The Internet and on the world wide web - facebook, instant messenger, games
....a time when I straddle both the old and the new making me feel like anything is possible
....the friends in whose company many wonderful hours were spent doing nothing
....the various academic institutions I attended who contributed to making me who I am
....for friends who never let you forget where you come from

I just wanted to be publicly grateful for all that is right in my life - this list does not even cover half of it but it's a start!

Jaago Re!

I have been dilly dallying for 9 years now on registering myself as a voter - I have the intention and motivation of course but never the action! so when I saw the Tata tea commercial on TV, it really struck a chord and I was like I can do that - so I registered myself today online which is a form that most net users fill out like once a week in any case and they sent me a filled out registered voter's form - the only thing I need to do is go drop it off at the Bandra office - which is hopefully something I will do during the next week - at least one step is done! I have always had a reason for not registering - I went away to school for a while, I always miss the deadlines but I look around and now I sincerely believe apathy is ruining the country. If I don't vote, in a couple of years, I will need to move!!

In India, The list of things that are wrong seem to be growing at a rapid pace and the list of things that are right seem to be diminishing even faster -I wonder how much more does it have to fall before it can rise again? There are so many questions like does my vote make that much of a difference? Should I be doing something more instead of just cribbing? I always think that I should not talk about the state of the country because really I'm doing nothing to help it! Let's hope at least voting in the election will assuage my conscience and make a difference.

''In India, democracy is like cricket - it's a spectator sport" - I will try to participate more!

U know it's time to move on when even fear ceases to motivate you!!

Math lesson of the day!

Possibilities of Travel:

• Hong Kong over the Dussehra weekend with the boy on his way back from Bali
• Vienna with the boy again - with the option of stopover in Zurich/Amsterdam/Paris
• Goa in October with MT friends
• Goa over the Diwali weekend with S and company
• Also option of traveling with parents

Probabilities of going: 0
No money, No Travel - I'm starting a relief fund for me - please feel free to contribute anytime.

Single and not ready to mingle.....

is how I spent all my teenage years and most of my 20's as well. Apart from a small non relationship last year [which seemed mega at the time], the boy is the first boyfriend I have ever had. I think this is the reason I don't have so much drama or angst in my life - I'm not actively looking for the relationship to come and bite me in the ass. I know people who constantly express surprise at the contentment they feel in the current relationship but that's because they are used to wanting to escape the confines of the ties or readying themselves for the next bout of battle. Don't get me wrong - I thought I was ready to mingle and in fact looked to mingle and would be extremely upset at times at the not mingling but I was not ready for another person to come and disrupt my life. I was extremely happy with the freedom singledom gave me - I holidayed many places with no encumbrances and no guilt - I went out with many different groups and also with lots of boys. In fact, I've had some experiences which should count as very romantic, letters with poetry written for me, walks on a moonlit beach, calls at 2 am, calls every day but will talk about that later. I always had a singular male friend who was my protector or designated dropper at any given time but nobody to whom I had to report. I may have missed out on Valentine's day and New Year's was also a bummer since these are specific romantic occasions but on the whole, I had a really fun time.

Which is why, I suppose, it still shocks me that I can't just make plans when I feel like with who I feel like because I am now responsible in way to another human being whose life is intrinsically linked with mine but who also has a life of his own.

Till Death do us part....

....the death referred to in the vows in today's case is the death of the relationship! All around me, I seem to viewing broken marriages - I believe I've blogged before about how the workplace has an unusually high number of divorced people but since then I've heard of a lot of marriages break up and I suppose it really hit home when a friend of mine announced semi seriously that she was thinking of leaving her husband. It just reinforces my belief that waiting to get married is not necessarily a bad thing - it makes you really sure of who you are as a person so you don't suddenly discover yourself a couple of years down the line and realise you are no longer fitting in to the half you have chosen. Essentially, in my mind that's it!! You choose to be one half of a whole - all decisions, all thoughts need to be shared and it makes it much easier if you come with your own views. I think in this case though, I'm definitely an idealist - my family's great marriages have obviously given me a rose coloured view of what really exists. My mother's great problem is that people don't give it a shot - they opt out for what she thinks are minor difficulties. I disagree in that I don't think affairs or physical abuse are the only reasons to opt out of a marriage - if a mistake has been made, a mistake has been made - and I don't see why you should spend the rest of your life tied to a person you have nothing in common with. I've also realised that it takes some adjusting to live with a person and if you don't learn how to deal with the smaller problems or if you ignore them thinking why fight over such a small issue, when the big one comes along, it blind sides you and you are left floundering coz you don't have the training to tackle it! There are so many reasons that people can't work out relationships and I know it sounds like I'm passing judgement on getting married early but it's not that - I think my problem is with getting married too soon - I agree if you started dating someone at 16, at 24 you need to take the relationship to the next level - you can't meander in the same state forever!! Not that I think that all divorces are necessarily acrimonious - it's just that I've never met anyone who thinks divorce helped them be a better person!
I suppose all this is coming from the fact that I am somewhat under pressure to get married by next year end and this is not a comfortable timeline for my already married once better half and I think it's not worth the effort to try to anticipate a tentatively agreed date when all around me I can see the not so succesful results of unions!

Random musing: Age 26

I haven't much felt like writing even about the holiday - I'm basically going through a period of lethargy which is extending it's tentacles to all aspects of my life!

However, I did discover one thing that age 26 is not a good age for a lot of people. I think girls associate the age of 26 as really landing into adulthood and therefore at 16, or as a schoolgirl you saw that age as a time of stability - with a good job and a good man with all the trauma and drama of the teenage/young adult years behind you. Ka-boom! Realisation: It's not that much different - in fact in some cases it's worse coz you know you don't have the luxury of time - at least not in the way you did at 16. A decade of life seems to have disappeared and we still ask ourselves the same questions - am I meant to be doing this? Am I meant to be going in this direction? Which direction is this going??!! Having this discussion with a friend, I am just grateful that particular stage has passed when everything in life seems to be in flux and I want to tell her that it does get better - decisions do get taken but I think it's a stage everybody needs to walk through themselves to show you that plans and dreams don't always turn out the way you think!

We also realised that my generation has the attention spans of flies - the boy has been in the same job for 10 yrs as a couple of people in the organistation but a lot of people I know have the urge to move jobs just for change. I don't know if it's a good sign that we are willing to take the risk or does it just show a lack of focus/interest? I'm fairly certain that you should not stay in the same place for years as you will stagnate but maybe you don't need to move as soon as you get comfortable either!! and the scary part is that for either extreme, money is not the motivating factor!!It's the ease I feel - for the loyalists, they love the feeling and for the jumpers, they need the challenge of a new environment!! Quite strange but the latest Elle has an article on the same issue!

Home Sweet Home!

Before I recap the holiday, I am going to recap all that is wrong with me - it seems to me that on a holiday,my body goes on a break as well so I am just like falling to pieces.

• Skin issues - sunburn & hives
• Teeth - mouth ulcer & gum swelling
• Regular allergies - sneezing

So did the doctor's rounds on the way back and im on internal anti histamines and external steroids for the skin, anti biotics for the teeth since I'm having them extracted!! Yay! Now that I have finished bitching, I can go on a bit to the actual holiday which was quite fantastic. I know this because, in spite of all my problems, for the first time in my life, I was not as grateful to be back as normal, I could have stayed on a bit more! Normally, I can't wait to get home and tho I missed the boy and the parents, did not miss the actual house for once and did not need to look out of the window in awe at Bombay when we land and did not breathe a sigh of relief to be home!
To start already, Hong Kong as usual was fantastic - but this is mainly due to the God mother and her daughter. The daughter is a bundle of joy and I swear you want to eat her - I was telling R that she should send her daughter to S for cuteness lessons - this is not to imply that R's kids will not be cute but S is just so cute.....espescially at night, when her hair is not tied up in many little braids and it's her last burst of energy, she just is enchanting!!
Anyways, this time in HKG, I did a little bit of sightseeing other than the markets and shops! I went to the peak, I admit later than I wanted but HKG by night is still a very pretty sight and I also went to Stanley which is like a little seaside fishing village type place -very quaint - it reminded me a bit of Fisherman's wharf in San Fran but since I did that very many years ago, I may be slightly fuzzy in memory! I do remember the yummy clam chowder tho but sorry, I'm talking about a different holiday here! I did do quite a bit of shopping again but mainly hung around the house a lot - playing with Samara and chatting with the girls till late at night about really arbid things that have no impact on anyone's life!
* I have decided to post this coz it's been getting saved for 3 days - I will do Vietnam with pictures later!

Xin Chao!

It's only been 2 days but already I've seen a world heritage site and eaten the most amazing food so I can't wait for the other 8 days remaining! Halong Bay is just stunning beautiful - the calm water, the limestone formations - I was too chicken to swim after being warned about the massive jellyfish but still awesome - the only thing was the 3 hr bus ride there and back for jsut 4 hrs there but still definitely worth it! There are some phenomenal pictures and a video but will edit all that when I get back! till then....google!
The people on the tour seem nice tho predominantly from the southern hemisphere - NZ, Oz and SA as well. I'm the lone ranger from a country above the equator - Sorry! the tour guide is from France so with all the different accents, I'm barely talking.
Looking forward to a more relaxed day today with a massage, water puppet theatre,a cycle tour of vietnam and of course - SHOPPING! I am going to make a list of all the things I bought and then if I go shopping during the rest of this year - kill me!

Holiday - Celebrate!

It's been 5 days already and I'm loving every minute of it! Of course, I'm broke by now - I was supposed to have $200 in 'reserve' - it has now been spent and I might be breaking into money for 'Nam! Luckily for me, against my mother's extremely sensible advice, I carried the credit card so if I like something, Charge it, baby!!

I have only reached HKG as yet so spending quality time wit Cousin, baby, BFF and the bride [this time in person, not on chat!]...done loads of shopping, eaten yummy south east asian authentic cuisine, hit the clubs, saw the red light area - I'm just going to list it all out!

• Dinner at the Bride's friend's house
• Snack at Thai hut
• singaporean lunch
• Wan chai market
• Prince Edward Market
• Lunch at the football club
• Sneaker street in Mong Kok - spent 3 hrs over her looking for Onitsuka tigers and no they are not big bugs as suggested by my cousin in law!
• Wan chai clubbing area - also the red light district
• Lang Kwai Fong
• Causeway bay
• got my hair straightened
• North point

So many things!! So much fun! and tho I am missing home  - it's a l'il bit! I would rather like to have the boy here with me than be at home with the boy!

Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Naa.....

butI jaano one thing - I want Imran Khan - I'm dying to put him in my showcase - Ideally I would like to do more but having certain restrictions due to the boy - I have gotten permission to put him on display - Still it's one step on the ladder - who knows where it can go from here? He makes me want to stalk him!
but Certainly, the movie is certainly feel good!The setting, the clothes, the people, the story and the music...is fantastic. I've seen the movie twice in one weekend and I have to admit, the first time I might have focused more on 'Jai Singh Rathore - Ranjore ka Rathod' than the movie but still enjoyed it. The second time I saw it with the boy and he loved it - he is counting it in his top 20 and if he says it, then it must be good. It is really well made from the dialogue to the clothes to the acting. I cannot enthuse more about this film - I put up the photie of Imran Khan so you can see how drool worthy he is! Hee hee - there is this gujju character in the film with oakley's and parakeet hair! All the boy needs to do now is dye various parts of his hair blond on different days!

I attended a friend's engagement in Delhi on Saturday and he was dancing up a storm in his joy. The girl is really sweet and I suspect they are going to be extremely happy together. However I was in awe at the transformation over the years - he came from what he terms a small town to campus where he thought most of us were strange espescially the women - my god! we drink,we smoke and we wear clothes like that!! And that day, his general demeanour reminds me forcefully why it's wonderful that we live in an India of today, where we appreciate our small town roots and sensibilities and can still embrace a 'western' culture. It's no longer shameful that people speak Hindi instead it's infra dig if you don't!!I love living in a world where we cross a chasm of difference like it's a crack in the paving - it can be viewed by some people as bad luck but for most people it's just another step!

Back in the day...

I have just taken an enforced walk down memory lane - friends, and I use the term loosely, have put up photies of us from college and all the mad things we used to do. As I saw them, I had a pinch of nostalgia for the fun times we had , intense amusement at the clothes we used to wear but more than anything else,I felt extreme and utter horror at the hair we used to have!! I for one looked like a boy in quite a few of the snaps - the short hair and the jeans look does not work for me at all - even girls who have beautiful hair had these haircuts that do nothing for them!
The fashion statements are extremely hysterical tho - checks were obviously the coolest thing, we had them in all the colors and one girl in particular had them in every single color! The next was the bright colors - I'm still partial to them but not the colors and the prints at the same time - a friend had bright orange with smiley faces - I'm still convinced she wore her nightsuit out in public. We also had reflector glares - those shiny mirros don't transalate well in photies!! But one thing does come out in those photographs - the good times we had still generate enough goodwill that 12 very different girls who have had their fair share of fights, still manage to get together and laugh over who they used to be and enjoy who they are now with each other! In the very many comments that the girls have posted on the photies, there was a very true statement made, we were like grapes back then and we have all matured into very FINE WINE!

The Unbelievable Hulk!

So I did see 'The Incredible Hulk' yesterday as planned and the title is apt - it is absolutely incredible and not in a good way - the proportion is all wrong, the pace is too slow and generally the ending with Stark in it prompting the thought of a triquel or whatever the hell you call it is just unbelievable!

I was most amazed at the lack of constant proportion in the movie - in some scenes,the Hulk is shown as massive dwarfing buildings and in other scenes, he is shown as only 1.3 times taller than the average human which makes him roughly the same size as a basket ball player in the NBA.

Unlike in Iron Man, I cannot complain about the lack of action in this movie - there was more than enough fun chase scenes through the very pretty slums in Brazil, there was violent face off in the middle of New York and the villains is really excessively ugly - I am not looking forward to evolution if the human species is going to look like that in the coming millenia!

Actually coming to think of it, a movie combining the thought and wit of Iron Man with the mindless action of the Hulk coz there is obviously no brain behind it just might be the best bet after all!

In the Hulk, another point that escaped me was the inability of the green monster to communicate - I mean he was/is a cellular biologist for crying out loud - he finds it impossible to string together a few words - he was able to string together DNA easy enough to change himself! and if I were the Hulk and Liv Tyler had to literally whimper 'Bruce' one more time and that too unintelligibly, I would possibly forget that deep within, there is a source of love and strangle the living daylights out of her!!! I find these actresses so wasted in action films - Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts - she has enough acting credit to her name not to need to be seen in a non challenging role like this - unless she was a fan in which case it's completely excusable! I'm not sure what Liv Tyler's acting credits are but it seems to me that love interests in comic book movies can be done by aspiring actresses rather than these known names. though Jennifer Connelly did the previous Hulk after being seen in a Beautiful Mind - go figure!

I suppose seeing the movie in a preview theatre that seats 30 people altogether may not have helped my experience which would have been vastly improved by watching in complete comfort in a red lounge! Let me clarify though - not a bad film, worth a watch but not to the standard I was expecting espescially from an Edward Norton!

I got Smart in Brugges

So After very many moons, I saw 2 movies this weekend - one being the extremely funny 'Get Smart' starring the extremely gorgeous Anne Hathaway and the extremely comic Steve Carrell [ I read this review about how Steve Carrell makes every character human and it's true from the office to the Ewan Almighty] and the second being 'In Bruges ' with Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell and the extremely hot Ralph Fiennes [tho have to say in this film, not hot just old!!]. Was really happy with both movies, but 'Get Smart' cracked P up way more than me and for once I agreed with the boy that wikipedia could possibly help with 'In Bruges'!! I had seen 'Sex and the city' a couple of weeks earlier and I had found that experience a bit lacking coz tho I had seen it with a whole bunch of girls, they possibly weren't like my close girl friends so there was no giggling about the film or the similarity to our lives or lack thereof espescially in the range of clothes and shoes - Men surprisingly weren't that fabulous though I did see some similarities between Mr. Big and the boy! I have a whole list of movies planned for this week since I seem to have missed the good ones recently - excessively annoyed since Indy seems to have disappeared from theatres! Anyway, the movie list for this week is:

• The Incredible Hulk - Wednesday hopefully
• Persepolis - looking at Thursday
• Made of Honor - Saturday for sure
• the Nanny Diaries - optional - have a feeling one can see this on TV + have not read the book as yet so hate watching movie first, classic example of the Devil wears Prada, I could not use my own imagination for anything!!

and this is not even taking into account the Bollywood releases which are due - really looking forward to Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na which has the fabulous song ' Hey Aditee!!'

Also this weekend, met up with adoptive parents from A and went for a birthday dinner too!Yay! I bes productive after ages!

Another one bites the dust!

Just back from yet another wedding - this one in the distant hills of Uttarakhand, Dehradun! I have realised though that I do the most travelling for my closest friend's weddings! For R, I took 11 hour flights, travelled a day and a half each way to be present at the wedding and in her adopted hometown for a mere 6 days. In this case too, mega travelling involved - taking trains after centuries and here too skipped the bachelorette or in this case, the most fun party with the overflowing alcohol!
I had been having doubts about this wedding and the reasons behind it - thinking that parental pressure and easy options were the motivating factors. However, seeing the 2 in action after a long time, all apprehension has disappeared - I don't know about the chemistry or the grand passion but they are each other's best friends and I believe that is most necessary to make the marriage a surefire success!
So we started on a tuesday evening after working the whole day - caught the 8.30 flight to Delhi, which surprisingly took off on time, caught a cab to a friend's house where 4 of us were congregation to catch the early morning train to D'dun. However, with one's flight delayed and the other's bus breaking down, we weren't all in till around 3 a.m leaving precious little sleep till 6 when we had to catch the train. Once we boarded the train and reached the destination, we needed baths asap having had the brilliant idea of not changing the night before and staying in tuesday's clothes for 24 hours+!! After what seemed like the annual bath, off to the parlour we went where I died of boredom during the blow out of my hair!! then to the cocktail where we slimily kept sending the boys to the bar to get us the booze! The next day we took a drive to see a bit of the place where I really learnt the meaning of small town - the town is 15 mins across with one main road and not much to do! then dressed for the wedding where my ex-flatmate looked gorgeous and talked all through the ceremony including making faces at every oath of which she did not approve! In between the 2 ceremonies, we sneaked off to do a little celebrating of our own which included looking through photies of the wonderful times we had as students in Pune which resulted in nostalgia for the days gone by and regret for the thought that we would never be as young or as carefree again! After the event, we proceeded to 'KaalRaatri' where the bride's sisters/friends keep the groom away from the bride whole night till the bidaai the next day.
Post this last occurence, B and me proceeded to Mussoorie where we rejected hotels, were rejected from hotels, finally found literally a flea bag motel and then proceeded to drown our sorrows through retail therapy! The next day was spent sight seeing, being awestruck by the beautiful valleys and the perennial mist/fog, the fantastic view from Lal Tibba the highest peak of the ' Queen of the Hills' and we discovered this quaint hotel which is actually a residence converted to a hotel with wonderful food and such lovely character! we met the charming owners and wondered how their grandparents were smart enough to buy property and tons of it! and might I add, his grand father and mine had the same profession - law!!
The last day saw tons of travel again - the previous routine reversed - the train followed by a flight both of which were delayed which means I reached home rather late and cranky!
I was a little cribby about the distance travelled but I am feeling rather refreshed and all in all I think the joy I got from seeing D peaceful and calm in her choice of lifemate was worth all the effort - after all that's what marriage is about - a lifetime committment to someone else's happiness!

The end of the world as I know it!

There is this standing joke among my friends, colleagues, aquaintances, family that I can never diet. Dieting requires the giving up of bread, cheese and potatoes which is the food groups I live on. However all this is going to change - the results of the allergy test is back and it turns out I am majorly allergic to yeast - Yeast which is a major component of bread, cheese and god knows how many things I love!! This means eliminating all forms of bread including bagels and pizza bases, mostly cakes and apparently cheese and some forms of milk! Gaaah! Yeast is also the basis for the fermenting of alcohol though the test says I'm not allergic to the booze! I am allergic to grapes tho - making wine unacceptable and oranges as well making a screwdriver off limits too! I'm not so sure it was the wisest thing to do this test.....considering that my resulting life seems to be over!
In related news, my father has always restricted milk and peanuts having a strong conviction I am allergic to them - I'm clear of that! however as predicted, I am allergic to perfumes!! Thank god - there is no allergy to chocolate and cola - there is something to live for!
My (in)significant other is having a gala time making fun of my predicament and practically banning me from eating!!

The other things one is allergic to is:

• House dust (Duh!!)
• House Dust mites (what are these?)
• Cockroach dust (Ewwww)
• Parthenium - some kind of fast growing weed which is all over the country

Live Life King Size

I just had this very animated discussion with The Bride on how I think people take themselves too seriously and create high drama out of their lives which I think means losing out on all the fun life has to offer! We read a lot of blogs and when I see the age at which these 'women' write about life and serious issues, it makes me wonder where did the youth go? With today's advances in medicine and technology, we live much longer lives and if you are jaded at the ripe age of 22, talking about life taking it out of you and how you've seen it all, it makes me wonder where will you find the joy for the remaining 40 years? All a person needs is a little perspective - this is when you start, shit happens and look for the good. If you wallow in the bad, it will be always be depressing and you start with admitting that life is fun - one setback does not mean it's over! The Bride says it's a sense of drama that creates this but is a sense of drama enough to think that you are the next Sylvia Plath? People have tried explaining to me that a person's bad behaviour is because he is extremely intelligent - and I'm like unless you have an IQ of 323 like Einstein, there is no excuse to be socially retarded - with an IQ of 156, you're effing Sharon Stone. Keep it in perspective, Dude! and I believe the same thing applies to drama as well, it's how much you want to be at the centre of it that makes a difference, people snap out of it and clinical depression is a real problem but just to be dramatic because you think you are highly strung and have mega sensibility, I find it amusing and after a point, annoying! To me, because I enjoy life thoroughly, I find it contemptible to waste it being miserable without a credible reason just because you think you have been hard done by! and eventually, I think and this is really my personal opinion, its a pretension and an aspiration to be the love ravaged, manic depressive, aged and jaded person at the age of 21!!

Childhood anecdotes

My uncle is in town so as usual all the kiddie stories came out - who said what to whom at what age? and basically how their children embarassed them no end. I just thought I would record them for posterity since over time, I'm certain they will be forgotten!

One of the family favourites is when my cousin/Godmother was asked what she would like to drink at the tender age of 21/2 expecting a cola answer, 'cousint' dearest pipes with 'I'll have a cointreau'!! The reason for the quotes is when she was coming to visit us in Wellington, my maid was exhorting me to clean my room for the'guest' to which I retorted - " She is not a guest, she's a cousint!''. You could never argue with my logic - classic example being at a time when I was distributing invitation cards for my happy budday day and someone remarked that being born in May, I was a Taurus which Iimmediately clarified her misapprehension - ' I'm not a taurus, I'm a Soares!'
Speaking of my cousint again,she spent her formative years in the Punjab [reason being her father was in the Army] so the first language she learnt was Punjabi [in fact the only language she knew for the longest time] which did not bode well for her communication with the family which speaks only the Queen's English! They used to think the girl was speaking gibberish when she came down for holidays until the Sardar neighbours upstairs explained she was speaking perfect punjabi and holding a conversation with them!! which also explained why during a bath, she used to scream 'Thatti Thatti' and my imaginative family put her on the pot ASAP not knowing the punjabi word for 'hot' was Thatti!!
Back in the AF, it was customary to invite the new person for lunch/dinner to your house to make them feel welcome, so my parents told the new joinee A for dinner with all the various people necessary - apparently when he arrived, I took this little walk around him and examined him from all angles before finally remarking [apparently I never used the term aunty or uncle as a child], " A, you shave on top also" - in my defence, it was my first encounter with a bald man - I was 31/2!! Not that I improved dramatically, at age 7, I met a lady who was growing out her dyed hair or colored hair, I apparently counted and informed her that she had 7 different colors present on her head!
I don't think I have changed much - people keep telling me I have no tact and I always end up saying the wrong thing! I just hope that the same way these stories seem entertaining now, the bloopers I make now seem funny later!

To do list

I got this idea from here and decided I should also make a list of things I would like to accomplish by the time I'm 30 actually no age just I would like to accomplish these things till a time it's still relevant!- I don't think it will be 30 things and I already wrote the more mundane things in the previous post that I want to accomplish this year.

1. Visit Leh-Ladakh
2. Study Fashion History - the subject can change but the thought is to study further.
3. Live in London/New York/Paris - preferably while I'm studying
4. Go deep sea diving/snorkelling
5. Get a tan on a white beach [Maldives/Bali/Krabi/Samui]
6. Be thin enough to wear a 2 piece string bikini once [preferably while doing pt.5]
7. Go for a calligraphy course
8. Be more technology friendly - learn how to operate DVD players, iPod's, fancy phones
9. Do the heritage walk at Fort
10. Visit a sanctuary in India - Bandipur, Jim Corbett, any any!!
11. Practice my french in Pondicherry
12. Run a marathon
13. Learn to cook 4 awesome dishes and make 3 fantastic cocktails and create 2 delicious deserts
14. Print out digital photos to put memories of a life
15. Create a signature look - either with a color or style
16. Honeymoon in Greece - the wedding thing gets taken care of in this one
17. Own a property
18. Vipassana/Art of living
19. Stop smoking
20. Manage my own money

I don't know how many of these I will achieve but the point is listing them creates a goal!

Stronger!

It's very silly but I'm feeling a glow of accomplishment these days - it's just that I've been feeling that my life was out of control in a lot of ways last year - I was constantly broke - I was gaining weight and just generally a feeling of apathy. The apathy is still existing and I have to find the courage to break it - this feeling of lethargy. But in other ways, I seem to have seen an improvement. In terms of health, the yoga makes me feel good - I am definitely not losing any weight - in fact seem to have gained some but that's due to the mega weekend bingeing which includes chips, chocolates and deserts. Financially also, tho I have the major holiday coming up, I'm not broke by the 10th of the month anymore. I have decided to liquidate some money to make me debt free. I just wish I had moved my arse when the stock market was rising to sell the single stock that I own and really gained a return on investment!! but still, one can't have it all!

We've started a diet blog - which I enter quite religiously - my drinking has decreased [tho last friday does not prove that!!] and yay! yay! drumroll!! my reading has vastly increased. I can quite proudly say that in the last 2 months, I have read at least 8-10 books! ok maybe all contemporary fictiona and not any major great literature, it's still better than the dry spell I went through for a couple of years when I ws reading possibly a book a month! The movie watching seems to have gone down tho and we all know whom to blame for that!!

So I just thought I would make a list of what all I need to accomplish in the coming months

• Lose 4 kilos
• Think of career options
• Make or break
• Start a Fixed deposit [recurring]
• Do an allergy test
• Start going to a dermatologist
• Find a good homeopath
• Go to a gynaecologist
• Rearrange room - buy bed!

Princess Diary - 66

So I've finally discovered the joy of reading books online - I found this site on the compulsive confessor - pimping this week where as she rightly said all the Baby sitter's club and Princess Diaries are available online. So I can now officially say I have read Princess Diaries - all 7 of them - yes I kid you not - it took me 10 days but I have done it! I can now enter a game show on Mia Thermopolis Renaldo Grimaldi - oh maybe I wont win the show since I'm certain I got the order of names wrong but still... I knew them!
I have also started reading some other Meg Cabot books - I actually own 'She went all the way' - don't worry - it's much more decent than what it sounds. I have read 'Queen of Babble', reading 'How to be popular' - ok ok! I can do 2 things at one time!
I have also gotten the sequel and the triquel to the Thursday Next series and hopefully they will be as much fun as the first - 'Eyre Affair' which I reread over this weekend - in the 6 hours I was awake out of the 48. So far the week seems good - did a girls night out last night - with less alcohol and more fun and lots of screaming - all in all good times!
This week, my existential issues seems much further in the distance but as speaking to R today pointed out to me, the decisions other people are making at this point are decisions I will not face till I move through the decisions at this stage. It seems strange that when we started out at the same place, how we can be in two completely different spheres of life now?

27 years!

So, I had to give myself kudos for this year! I'm one of those people who likes birthdays - who loves what it symbolises - it is the culmination of another year of existence - of life not over, and hopefully of a life well lived! This year, I have milestones - I have a brand new addition to my life, I still have my friends - I'm planning a fantastic holiday - I had a very good holiday season since R & R were down - I just have had a good year - Professionally last year also I achieved targets etc etc!

So I'm having this celebration type thing which I have had to organise all by my lonesome! Coz my mommy has abandoned me to go celebrate the baby's 2nd birthday [which I perfectly understand by the way coz she is just the most gorgeous thing ever!!] and so I had to order the food myself, clean the house, rearrange the furniture, take out the cutlery, glass and silverware - do people realise how annoying and time consuming all this and make it to work as well? so I have gotten up at the crack of dawn and done all this - now arriving at work and going to leave early to still do more stuff! But it's kinda cool coz as I always believed apart from my mini melt down this vaykay , if stuff needs to get done, I can step up to the plate and hit the ball if needs be - maybe not a sixer but still not miss the ball or drop the bat!

I've also had quite a nice birthday celebration starting with a dinner at nice Italian restaurant to bring it in, followed by a lunch with very close school friend then beer in the evening with people at work and again dinner with my dad and A. Today as u know is the dinner again so quite a long celebration and worth every minute!

May Days!!

I've realised that the older you get, the worse it gets when you live alone - and that's it! Coz by this age, it's no longer about the independence, the freedom - it's about the comfort, the security. My parents are the regular travellers but this time has been horrible, also because it seems to me, I fell sick the day they left and have not recovered since. This is also mostly coz they have not been here so there is no food, there is no tea, I have to sleep alone! It's really frustrating, I cant remember the last time, I had a normal meal! I have been having this discussion with The Bride about how miserable it is to be alone in the house and I really felt it this time. I've had a really quiet life for the most part since the beginning of the year - the main focus being the yoga and trying to minimise going out which I have succeeded at but it also means I had loads of time to catch up on the reading and what the Bf calls Alone time....so when it's enforced on me like this, I get really cranky since I don't need it. Earlier, when I had a semi hectic life, this time and space was a welcome gap in which to read, to just 'chill' and was much appreciated. Now it serves to remind me about how non fulfilling my life is!

I've also been having existential issues - which way do I want my life to go? should I follow my head or my heart? Do I have the guts to chuck it up and start anew? I had promised myself some answers by May and now that it's upon me - I don't think I have the courage to face up to those questions and what repurcussions it could have.

More blues!

I've officially had the worst month ever career wise - bad news followed by bad news followed by worse news. It's like whatever I have touched this month [and by me, I mean whatever my boss has been involved with as well - so I'm not the only panvati] has turned to dust. We are like the anti-Midas!! I've had inlays been changed the day before delivery - tracklists changed 2 days prior - contracts negotiated and then fallen through - content sent and then dropped! If you could name it, It has happened. I don't know if I mentioned earlier but I was not exactly thrilled with my increment - disappointed is a word tht I would use and now I find that my contemporary from B-school & ex office has been offered a job for 2.1 times my salary! If that does not cap off a spectacular month, I don't know what does!

I is sick!

As I successfully predicted earlier, I have fallen ill - nothing major - just the regular - bad throat and mega sneezing. I don't think I actually have a cold but the only way my body knows how to eject anything is through my nose - so even if I have a fever and it's about to break - starts the ah-choos which are violent shakes which leave me exhausted - which I might add has been the case this sunday. AND....there has been noone to fuss after me - say Baby! Can I make you tea? Baby can i make you kichdi? I have survived the entire day on cups of tea and toast and cheese spread - for a variation at dinner I had chapati and cheese spread. Yes! ok this is a whinge fest but I'm allowed to be grumpy and depressed - I'm sick and it's my blog!

I watched ' Khuda Kay Liye' yesterday which is a film whose editor needs to be shot! The film could have easily been shortened by half an hour. The one thing that makes me happy about the movie is how they portray the americans as idiots! Very few films tell it like it is and this one very successfully does even in terms of how religious leaders twist the words to suit themselves and their vision of good and evil.

I've been reading a lot of what I call Christian fiction which is mystery/suspense type novels but based on the bible etc and I find it fascinating - apparently the origin of christianity is so murky and the reasons for it to become a dominant religion. In 'The sign of the cross', the whole crucifixion and resurrection is staged, and in 'The Templar legacy', there was no resurrection. and the question posed in the book which everybody needs to ask themselves is, if you did not know you were going to be resurrected, would you still follow Jesus Christ? I think yes, because his teachings are right - Buddha does not promise eternal life but he still preached a good life. I think the romans were obsessed with immortality and to them that seemed to be the only way to create a mass following. In the oriental world, in India. Here the trick is to leave it all behind and escape this cycle. They both promise freedom but through different means.

notes to myself!

So the parents have left on holiday only for 2 weeks mind you however I have a list of instructions that will last me a whole year to complete!

• Double lock the door at all times
• Don't come home alone
• Don't leave the house after you come in
• Pay the maid
• Clean the house
• Do the washing
• Buy food
• Eat Food
• Go to the Dentist
• Put off the AC if using it
• Don't use the AC
• Keep the third room closed
• Have friend's stay over
• Get online everyday
• Don't call

what the hysterical part is they left this morning and I have a bad throat already! It's like I wait till my parent's leave to fall sick- I've always done it - then I will struggle through - go to the doctor by myself etc etc. I remember this one time I was not well, did all of the above and carried on through life and the minute I opened the door to my mother, I collapsed and was ill for 2 weeks!

I've been living a very peaceful life I think with very little drinking forget excess! In fact a couple of weekends ago - I was out till 5 and I managed with one vodka-oj the whole night - of course there were the cokes and the Fresh lime soda to see me through but still....I've been watching very little TV and of course no movies [grrrr!!] but on the whole I think in the last year, I've read more than I had in the year before - so there was some benefit to changing the job - at the very least it gave me time for my life and everybody knows the best thing I got out of it!

Coming back to my mom's list, after she repeated it to me at least 5 times in the last month, I finally snapped and noted that this is not the first time that they are going on vacation ever consdiering they are out of town every 3 months or so - and plus I have lived away from home for 3 years so it's not like I'm absolutely incapable of looking after myself - I admit I don't exhibit the signs much but wtheyyy I don't need to!! A couple of days ago, there was no food in the house and my mom was exhausted so I got down to making myself scrambled eggs and my parents came to the kitchen to stare in wonder at this feat. I was like Dude just coz I don't doesn't mean I don't know and at the end of the day in response to the million queries of what will u do when u get married - Have phone, will eat!!

WTF??

I think it's something about the onset of summer, or maybe it's daylight savings in the more advanced countries, but it seems to me that lethargy has set in and noone seems to be saying anything anymore! I for one, have actually read a couple of books and seen one okayish movie Race but nothing that motivates me to run to a computer and share my thoughts and opinions with the world. In fact, I am just apathetic about most things nowadays! The scary thing is, I went to one of my favourite haunts - Hawaiin Shack - named because of it's waiters wear Hawaain print shirts - the decor is actually rustic log cabin but I digress - the point being - I went and left within half an hour - I agree went after okayish movie but still a glass of wine and finished!!?? What am I coming to? Then went to meet another friend and favouritest haunt of all - Soul Fry - wrapped that up in half an hour as well - to do what? u might ask - this is the scary part!! I went HOME to SLEEP!! everybody knows I luurrve my sleep but on sunday and Monday morning certainly not Saturday nights! Yes! This was a saturday night as well!

Other than that, it's been the usual - Work, Yoga and home - went to Delhi again last week where met up with old friend and got loads of gossip about ex crushes, people who had crushes on me and so on..so worthwhile trip on the personal front - will see about professional! Went for dinner with the boy and discover will have to change the duration of the holiday since need couple of days off in June for..u guessed it? A marriage! Yay! full marks to you!

And in yet more news, P is coming back this week - some issue with regards to compensation not being compensated - really honestly I never realised she was worth that much*!! anyhoo - cheers to that! at least the margarita queen is back so we can have our bitch n moan sessions which have been sorely missed and are sorely needed now!!

Ok! now I think I have updated enough! will go back to hibernation and pretend I have not seen the tag of Pixy Princess - she never told me - I just happend to see it on her blog so will go back in time and not see it**! Muaah!!

* P - I just said that to piss you off! you know I love u!!

**PP - Am thinking of it and it takes time! 6 words can be my name alone!

I do! I do!

So....More people are getting married and again close to home. Let's start with the distanter ones - the boy I used to hang around with constantly in A is getting married to the girl he started seeing at the same time that I was there. In fact, I was there when he made the transition from 'just good friends' to ' more than'. And the next one is a relationship that I broke to the world - again in A, before it was obvious and before I left, I told everybody that this is a relationship and I was dismissed and lo and behold they got engaged 3 weeks ago!!

It's less that I want to be married and more that I dont want other people to be!! It's selfish I know but I've observed that married people seem to have lots less time [much like people who have just entered relationships: reference me!!] but I don't know with the sacrament of matrimony, family and those necessary lines seem to acquire importance relegating the rest of life to a lower rung. Also married people seem to have domestic woes - single people live with family or just don't care!! and even if they do, it never seems to reach that level of discussion as with the married ones.

My close friends who are married don't live in the country so when they come here, they are not in the domestic space - but with everybody else, conversation seems to dwindle. Another feature of marriage is that they come out as a couple mostly - it's nver just girl time or guy time - it's always lets do stuff together. Quite strange!

Anyhoo, I just think, it's much harder to be single, when everyone who used to share your life with has a partner! Maybe it won't be true for my friends, but it's just a scary thought!!

To be or not to be?

Today on my way to watch 'Juno' [ a film about teenage pregnancy and adoption], I picked up the Reader's Digest which had an article about a woman who had undergone invitro fertilisation and had 11 embryos frozen. She produced 31 eggs with the medication instead of the usual 15-20 that other people in the program do which is significantly higher than the one a month u are supposed to create. The thing is she had 2 children using the embryos - 4 each time before one took but she still has 11 frozen - now her dilemma is....what does she do with these embryos?? The options being donate them to research - donate them to other people in the same predicament as she was - or have them destroyed? I find this decision heart breaking.....and so morally gray, I would crumble with the burden of choice
I am anti abortion..on the grounds that you are killing a life - and have been since I was subjected to the video of a gruesome video of one in school. I agree that maybe it may not be be life as soon as you create it but by the time most people discover, a heart beat has started and that to me is life! and in the case of a teenager like Juno - if you were responsible enough to be 'Sexually active' - you have to live with the repurcussions - this is a very easy argument, I know but the alternative is very devastating - an abortion is mind numbing for most people - because at the end of the day you are destroying something that is growing within you! but in a case like this, what do you do?
This is why in some cases, science has progressed too fast for mankind - maybe the difficulty many people are having conceiving is a natural progression of nature to control the population etc etc. and there is always adoption - there have always been millions of children that are born to wrong parents and are just waiting for a chance at a half decent life. I know the question of is it mine? etc will always haunt some people but...the option of wasting 11 embryos is traumatising me. I feel for that woman - how do you make a decision like that? Destroy, research or have your offspring traipsing half way around the globe with no idea that you exist?

In 'Juno', she cannot go through with an abortion and decides to give the child up for adoption. This is the kind of film that I like where the message is good - own up to your mistakes and the world will right itself - I hope....

A place called here

I finished reading P.S. I love you yesterday - I started reading it yesterday also and finally finished at 4 a.m. I actually also bought the book yesterday after reading an article in the March issue of India Vogue on Cecilia Ahern, the author. She is the daughter of the current Irish Prime minister and get this, she is only 25 with 4 novels under her belt. This first one apparently was written at age 21 while she was completing her degree!! and when you read it, you don't think it's written by a 21 year old - I don't think at 21, I would have able to write about grief and surviving - I'm certain I could not do it now but then hey! I've dumbed down over the years. I'm a firm believer in the t-shirt slogan ' I was intelligent and education ruined me' except mine would read ' I am intelligent, work ruined me'. Working does not give u time for yourself - to read, to think or anything. We, at least I, end up obsessed about the way my life is going, what I am not doing without having the time or the inclination to do anything I really want. Most people have to struggle to find time for their hobbies, others have given up on them. How do some people know to the exclusion of all else that this is what they want to do and have the drive to achieve it? I'm thinking of applying to yet another job in the same space when I know I will be unhappy coz eventually this is not what I like doing. but my bigger issue will I like my new calling either?

The title of this post is one of her latest novels - by the by she also produces and writes a TV show, short stories, screenplays etc etc. and I think what I'm trying to get out of it is that there is no place like now - If I want to do something different, It has to be immediate!

To bring me back to the point, is a lot of people I know like to write and like to write creatively [unlike me, I suck at creative, I can only only write real life] but nobody I know has published their first novel by age 23! Apparently the publisher picked it up after reading the first 10 chapters - I might have picked it up after hearing the thought behind it but then I'm a sucker for the 'Great' love story about soul mates etc etc!

and you know what I've discovered? I like to read more than I like to write so maybe I should be like a reader for all then novels a publishing house gets - u know the person who approves or disapproves of it - hee hee!

Another thing this book brings home is that noone has a perfect life - everyone has their own issues and trials and I think most of us should just be glad that the one we face trials with are still here with us and we are not facing it alone - even if it's against a person - it is not alone!

Time wasting techniques

The week before, the most popular social networking sites were banned in office - you were not allowed to access them - facebook and orkut and for some reason , gmail!! The next step apparently is to ban chat - no gtalk, no messenger, no yahoo talk!
I just don't comprehend why the necessity to do this? One of the reasons given - not through official sources - is that uploading of photos etc on to these sites - takes up bandwidth for the internet slowing down other critical processes. This point I cede but the ridiculous notion that this distracts people from work, I find ridiculous. If you don't want to work, nothing is going to make you and If you want to, nothing is going to stop you. This is like living in a police state and not trying to find out the solution but just implementing short term solutions for what is seen as the problem. Personally, I think that if people are not working, then there is a deeper issue - firstly with the management, then the profile, and lastly if nothing else is working then the person's work ethic. and I certainly don't think banning sites is addressing any of these issues.

Also a point to note, I don't think that facebook is the only thing that people can do on the net - all I know is since the facebook ban - I have discovered more interesting blogs and the time to really dig deep into the blogs I already read. I have also rediscovered tickle but it no longer holds the fascination it did. Zapak is a good gaming site and after bubble shooter I have discovered arctic quest - a version of bejeweled and jigsaw puzzle.

And if all these don't work, Dude, I have a phone! All those calls you never seem to get around to making, nows the time!

Mountains, Messes and Magic

I've been missing for 5 days from the real world when I was transported to this unbelievable space of white snow, bright yellow sunshine and green pine trees. I kid you not - when I entered 'Gulmarg' - it felt like something out of a greeting card you send people for Christmas. Just vast fields of snow, with snow capped pine trees with the occasional wooden roof showing through - the only thing missing was the smoke from the wood fire coming out of the chimney which was not visible due to the early evening fog that had already descended.

I don't know how to describe it but the gradual build up of snow to the full fields was a journey in itself. We landed in Srinagar and the route to our final destination skipped the town and went via the bypass which was barren barren land with trees stripped of all their leaves and patches of construction everywhere. Now people living in cold lands maybe used to bald trees but I personally found it a very distressing sight - the earliest I have ever travelled to cold lands is Spring in the states when trees are in full bloom so this was very sad to my eyes. And then the snow started, it originally looked like little patches of white strewn across the ground like next to the steps of the house or in the middle of the front yard and then gradually it spread to more and more places until finally at one point, all I could see was the white. It is an amazing view. I always thought I was a seaside girl, not liking the cold and all u see and loving the sun but the sheer awesome of the mountains is incomparable to the ocean. Don't get me wrong - I'm still a seaside girl at heart - I'm from Bombay for crying out loud but I gotta admit - the mountains have something!! Awe inspiringly beautiful is how I would term it. Maybe the beaches of Greece will have white sand and blue water to compete but I know that Goa lacks in terms of the beauty.

The experience was nice - we did this gondola ride to just under 14000 feet which was so high and breath taking - the panoramic view is unbelievable - I know when I'm writing this that it sounds very trite but these words would have been created to describe scenes like this - it really is panoramic because all you can see is the mountain range stretching on in the distance and it's hard to believe you are on the peak of one. I really understood the adjective weather beaten when you see Kashmiri men - their skin looks it - you know the 'gora gora' pictures they show you of the people is only till a certain age - after 30 their skin is weathered.
I builted a snowman [with the help of 5 other people; it was a team activity competition], which I was not bad at - I sledded which was fun - I walked uphill in the snow which was not an easy tark - the word to describe that is arduous! Actually forget walkingI skied up the mountain, walking in the snow is a difficult process by itself, the number of times people have fallen and lost their balance is innumerable - I did it thrice myself but I know people who swear they have black and blue asses! By the end of the 3 days, lying down was painful for some people,forget sitting.

One of the highlights of the conference was the KK showcase - man! that man can sing! He is just super - I cannot tell you how delightful he was - the day that I joined Sony, Kailash Kher had performed and I was overawed by him but KK is just as good if not better - I know many people preferred KK but I have a soft spot for the type of music Kailash Kher sings [Sufi pop] making me a bit biased.

The costume party was fun and I felt really bad about my costume seeing the effort other people other people had mad. Let me list some of the detailed costumes:

• Bart Simpson with the head
• Barney Rubble [of The Flintstones fame] with a head
• Fred Flintstone himself but no head
• Jasmine of Aladdin fame
• Aladdin himself [2 nos]
• Beast of Beauty and the Beast complete with Lion head
• Batman
• Goofy
• Pluto
• Thompson twins from Tin Tin
• Superman

There were a couple of issues tho - the beds were not good - the bukhari's [Kashmiri type fireplaces/furnaces] would die out in the middle of the night but by far the worst was the lack of running water at most times. The not taking a bath really upset a lot of people's equilibrium including mine as I think for most of us, the morning bath is a ritual which sets your day and having to do even the menial tasks like brushing your teeth, washing your face and going to the loo with bottles of water [even if they were mineral] is disconcerting. Basically I figured, Highland Park which is a heritage hotel [I think from the 'Colonial Raj'] is not equipped to deal with a group of 55 descending on it at a single time - they were really inflexible on timings be it for tea, dinner etc. Apparently, the Hill Top hotel down the road was better, I think it was newer so it had central heating and round the clock water - isn't that wonderful? Really I never thought that hot water would mean so much to my existence.

That gives you a brief peek into my week which ended with a rather nice meeting in Delhi which should translate into some good business achievements. I landed in Mumbai at 12, reached home at 12.30 after an exhausting 4 days and what's the first thing I did? You guessed it!! had a hot shower! I am also sunburnt only my face since that's the only part of me that was exposed but like in a triangle of like my nose and my upper lip area. Go figure - if anyone can explain why that shape, please tell me since I used a sun block as well - SPF 50 that too.

P.S. I collated all the pictures now so if you know me, they should be up on facebook within the next 24 hours!

I could not get sleep last night which explains the previous post and post that I continued surfing a long while. I have been interested in finding out about fashion marketing courses and I finally took the time to study the website of the Parson's school of design and they have this fantastic course called the AAS in Fashion marketing which is an accelerated course for people who have been to college etc [which would be me considering I come armed with an MBA] but get this! the course costs $50,000!! Now I'm reasonably sure I like fashion and I would like to work in it, but a 20 lac loan sure?? I'm not so sure!

Which again brings me back to my constant dilemma - I don't hate what I do but I certainly don't love it but I don't know what I would love to do - I don't have a vocation - calling nothing -I like clothes - check - I like movies - check - I like writing - check - I like life - check - I like TV - check but there is no underlying force which says to me 'Get off your lazy ass and do this! NOW'.

My issue currently is I'm going to be 27 this year, this is the last year possibly in which I can say , I chuck it - I'm going to give something a shot never mind the money never mind the life etc etc. Post this, I hope I will be planning a life with someone in addition to what msn entertainment insists on calling them 'ankle biters'!! So I don't think I will have the inclination to chuck it all up and do soemthing completely different. This is it, people, My make or break year - I just pray I have the guts to follow through. I have finished my 3 years of working post the MBA which is the goal I had set for myself and now the world is my oyster. It helps that I was not adequately commended at work making it that much easier to distance myself and look at other options.
If anyone has any thought on what I should do, please let me know. The things I am interested in are reading, travel, fashion, movies, television so if you know of anything I should move into please share it with me - money is a slight issue but not enough to stop me - no matter how much I make, I seem to be broke in any case so let the money flow out!

Time and Tide wait for no man

I had decided to not write about the minutiae of my daily life here - and keep it as a record of my views and opinions of which I have lots but I have had such a hectic 2 weeks - I have not had time for any views/opinions of my own or any thought for that matter.

It started with a trip to Delhi maybe over 2 weeks ago which resulted in me chugging out proposal after customised proposal for the rest of the week. Then suddenly appraisals were dumped on me which did not go well in my opinion. I had a fantastic year numbers wise as I have mentioned before finishing my annual target 2 months before schedule but was really pulled up in my appraisal - One for lack of meetings/calls/business generation , second mainly for my lack of systems and processes and thirdly for lack of enthusiasm and zest. On the other hand I was praised for my interpersonal skills in 9 areas of work but when you actually check the scale I have 9 strengths and 11 weaknesses so....

Then Valentine's day happened which was an unmitigated disaster - I can summarize by saying that after at least 12 years of cribbing about not having a boy on Valentine's day - I still spent the evening at home.

Then came the meetings in Bangalore followed by rounds and rounds of meetings with agencies since we have a slew of launches and novel events happening on the work front. So the last couple of days have been spent customising proposals for these especially since Come Monday - we leave for our annual conference in Gulmarg, Kashmir for 3 days where apparently they have not heard of the concept of mobile network at least not Vodafone!

Following which, I go from there straight to Delhi for a very important client meeting so really stretched myself over the last month but the feeling is good - at least the constant feeling of lethargy has left but the dissatisfaction with my choices remains.

Gulmarg, Kashmir is a high point to look forward to - random people I have met in planes, trains etc have told me that it is fantastically beautiful!!Having never been so far north - furtherest I have travelled has been to Rohtang pass from Manali, where the snow was like ice, I am looking forward to the experience and hoping I don't freeze my ass off since it's -5 degrees during the day. Another point to note is that the theme party this year is 'Pixie dust' and we all have to come dressed like Fairy tale/cartoon characters. My original choice was Sneezy, one of the seven dwarfs since you could seriously call me that but too boring, Super girl was also a choice but Wednesday seems easiest since you can still bundle up and not have to bother about the cold!

My parents are none too happy about this tho since Kashmir is still a hotbed of terrorist activity and why take chances? I don't think the freezing temperature helps it much since we all know how well I react to the cold. But as my mother admits, if you gotta go, you gotta go - not much safety in traveling by the good ol' Mumbai local either - remember the bomb blasts in July '07? My neighbour Sanford was just going about his daily life when it was abruptly over. I know people who have been in the London underground just before those attacks. Nowhere in the world is safe - just ask Petra Nemcova who lost her boyfriend in the Indian ocean Tsunami in the super popular holiday destination of Thailand. I agree, no point taking unnecessary risks but even when you don't take them, death calls. I reiterate, if it's your time, you will get taken.

P.S. - the old saying as a title seems apt, no?