May Days!!

I've realised that the older you get, the worse it gets when you live alone - and that's it! Coz by this age, it's no longer about the independence, the freedom - it's about the comfort, the security. My parents are the regular travellers but this time has been horrible, also because it seems to me, I fell sick the day they left and have not recovered since. This is also mostly coz they have not been here so there is no food, there is no tea, I have to sleep alone! It's really frustrating, I cant remember the last time, I had a normal meal! I have been having this discussion with The Bride about how miserable it is to be alone in the house and I really felt it this time. I've had a really quiet life for the most part since the beginning of the year - the main focus being the yoga and trying to minimise going out which I have succeeded at but it also means I had loads of time to catch up on the reading and what the Bf calls Alone time....so when it's enforced on me like this, I get really cranky since I don't need it. Earlier, when I had a semi hectic life, this time and space was a welcome gap in which to read, to just 'chill' and was much appreciated. Now it serves to remind me about how non fulfilling my life is!

I've also been having existential issues - which way do I want my life to go? should I follow my head or my heart? Do I have the guts to chuck it up and start anew? I had promised myself some answers by May and now that it's upon me - I don't think I have the courage to face up to those questions and what repurcussions it could have.