Till Death do us part....

....the death referred to in the vows in today's case is the death of the relationship! All around me, I seem to viewing broken marriages - I believe I've blogged before about how the workplace has an unusually high number of divorced people but since then I've heard of a lot of marriages break up and I suppose it really hit home when a friend of mine announced semi seriously that she was thinking of leaving her husband. It just reinforces my belief that waiting to get married is not necessarily a bad thing - it makes you really sure of who you are as a person so you don't suddenly discover yourself a couple of years down the line and realise you are no longer fitting in to the half you have chosen. Essentially, in my mind that's it!! You choose to be one half of a whole - all decisions, all thoughts need to be shared and it makes it much easier if you come with your own views. I think in this case though, I'm definitely an idealist - my family's great marriages have obviously given me a rose coloured view of what really exists. My mother's great problem is that people don't give it a shot - they opt out for what she thinks are minor difficulties. I disagree in that I don't think affairs or physical abuse are the only reasons to opt out of a marriage - if a mistake has been made, a mistake has been made - and I don't see why you should spend the rest of your life tied to a person you have nothing in common with. I've also realised that it takes some adjusting to live with a person and if you don't learn how to deal with the smaller problems or if you ignore them thinking why fight over such a small issue, when the big one comes along, it blind sides you and you are left floundering coz you don't have the training to tackle it! There are so many reasons that people can't work out relationships and I know it sounds like I'm passing judgement on getting married early but it's not that - I think my problem is with getting married too soon - I agree if you started dating someone at 16, at 24 you need to take the relationship to the next level - you can't meander in the same state forever!! Not that I think that all divorces are necessarily acrimonious - it's just that I've never met anyone who thinks divorce helped them be a better person!
I suppose all this is coming from the fact that I am somewhat under pressure to get married by next year end and this is not a comfortable timeline for my already married once better half and I think it's not worth the effort to try to anticipate a tentatively agreed date when all around me I can see the not so succesful results of unions!

Random musing: Age 26

I haven't much felt like writing even about the holiday - I'm basically going through a period of lethargy which is extending it's tentacles to all aspects of my life!

However, I did discover one thing that age 26 is not a good age for a lot of people. I think girls associate the age of 26 as really landing into adulthood and therefore at 16, or as a schoolgirl you saw that age as a time of stability - with a good job and a good man with all the trauma and drama of the teenage/young adult years behind you. Ka-boom! Realisation: It's not that much different - in fact in some cases it's worse coz you know you don't have the luxury of time - at least not in the way you did at 16. A decade of life seems to have disappeared and we still ask ourselves the same questions - am I meant to be doing this? Am I meant to be going in this direction? Which direction is this going??!! Having this discussion with a friend, I am just grateful that particular stage has passed when everything in life seems to be in flux and I want to tell her that it does get better - decisions do get taken but I think it's a stage everybody needs to walk through themselves to show you that plans and dreams don't always turn out the way you think!

We also realised that my generation has the attention spans of flies - the boy has been in the same job for 10 yrs as a couple of people in the organistation but a lot of people I know have the urge to move jobs just for change. I don't know if it's a good sign that we are willing to take the risk or does it just show a lack of focus/interest? I'm fairly certain that you should not stay in the same place for years as you will stagnate but maybe you don't need to move as soon as you get comfortable either!! and the scary part is that for either extreme, money is not the motivating factor!!It's the ease I feel - for the loyalists, they love the feeling and for the jumpers, they need the challenge of a new environment!! Quite strange but the latest Elle has an article on the same issue!

Home Sweet Home!

Before I recap the holiday, I am going to recap all that is wrong with me - it seems to me that on a holiday,my body goes on a break as well so I am just like falling to pieces.

• Skin issues - sunburn & hives
• Teeth - mouth ulcer & gum swelling
• Regular allergies - sneezing

So did the doctor's rounds on the way back and im on internal anti histamines and external steroids for the skin, anti biotics for the teeth since I'm having them extracted!! Yay! Now that I have finished bitching, I can go on a bit to the actual holiday which was quite fantastic. I know this because, in spite of all my problems, for the first time in my life, I was not as grateful to be back as normal, I could have stayed on a bit more! Normally, I can't wait to get home and tho I missed the boy and the parents, did not miss the actual house for once and did not need to look out of the window in awe at Bombay when we land and did not breathe a sigh of relief to be home!
To start already, Hong Kong as usual was fantastic - but this is mainly due to the God mother and her daughter. The daughter is a bundle of joy and I swear you want to eat her - I was telling R that she should send her daughter to S for cuteness lessons - this is not to imply that R's kids will not be cute but S is just so cute.....espescially at night, when her hair is not tied up in many little braids and it's her last burst of energy, she just is enchanting!!
Anyways, this time in HKG, I did a little bit of sightseeing other than the markets and shops! I went to the peak, I admit later than I wanted but HKG by night is still a very pretty sight and I also went to Stanley which is like a little seaside fishing village type place -very quaint - it reminded me a bit of Fisherman's wharf in San Fran but since I did that very many years ago, I may be slightly fuzzy in memory! I do remember the yummy clam chowder tho but sorry, I'm talking about a different holiday here! I did do quite a bit of shopping again but mainly hung around the house a lot - playing with Samara and chatting with the girls till late at night about really arbid things that have no impact on anyone's life!
* I have decided to post this coz it's been getting saved for 3 days - I will do Vietnam with pictures later!

Xin Chao!

It's only been 2 days but already I've seen a world heritage site and eaten the most amazing food so I can't wait for the other 8 days remaining! Halong Bay is just stunning beautiful - the calm water, the limestone formations - I was too chicken to swim after being warned about the massive jellyfish but still awesome - the only thing was the 3 hr bus ride there and back for jsut 4 hrs there but still definitely worth it! There are some phenomenal pictures and a video but will edit all that when I get back! till then....google!
The people on the tour seem nice tho predominantly from the southern hemisphere - NZ, Oz and SA as well. I'm the lone ranger from a country above the equator - Sorry! the tour guide is from France so with all the different accents, I'm barely talking.
Looking forward to a more relaxed day today with a massage, water puppet theatre,a cycle tour of vietnam and of course - SHOPPING! I am going to make a list of all the things I bought and then if I go shopping during the rest of this year - kill me!

Holiday - Celebrate!

It's been 5 days already and I'm loving every minute of it! Of course, I'm broke by now - I was supposed to have $200 in 'reserve' - it has now been spent and I might be breaking into money for 'Nam! Luckily for me, against my mother's extremely sensible advice, I carried the credit card so if I like something, Charge it, baby!!

I have only reached HKG as yet so spending quality time wit Cousin, baby, BFF and the bride [this time in person, not on chat!]...done loads of shopping, eaten yummy south east asian authentic cuisine, hit the clubs, saw the red light area - I'm just going to list it all out!

• Dinner at the Bride's friend's house
• Snack at Thai hut
• singaporean lunch
• Wan chai market
• Prince Edward Market
• Lunch at the football club
• Sneaker street in Mong Kok - spent 3 hrs over her looking for Onitsuka tigers and no they are not big bugs as suggested by my cousin in law!
• Wan chai clubbing area - also the red light district
• Lang Kwai Fong
• Causeway bay
• got my hair straightened
• North point

So many things!! So much fun! and tho I am missing home  - it's a l'il bit! I would rather like to have the boy here with me than be at home with the boy!

Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Naa.....

butI jaano one thing - I want Imran Khan - I'm dying to put him in my showcase - Ideally I would like to do more but having certain restrictions due to the boy - I have gotten permission to put him on display - Still it's one step on the ladder - who knows where it can go from here? He makes me want to stalk him!
but Certainly, the movie is certainly feel good!The setting, the clothes, the people, the story and the music...is fantastic. I've seen the movie twice in one weekend and I have to admit, the first time I might have focused more on 'Jai Singh Rathore - Ranjore ka Rathod' than the movie but still enjoyed it. The second time I saw it with the boy and he loved it - he is counting it in his top 20 and if he says it, then it must be good. It is really well made from the dialogue to the clothes to the acting. I cannot enthuse more about this film - I put up the photie of Imran Khan so you can see how drool worthy he is! Hee hee - there is this gujju character in the film with oakley's and parakeet hair! All the boy needs to do now is dye various parts of his hair blond on different days!

I attended a friend's engagement in Delhi on Saturday and he was dancing up a storm in his joy. The girl is really sweet and I suspect they are going to be extremely happy together. However I was in awe at the transformation over the years - he came from what he terms a small town to campus where he thought most of us were strange espescially the women - my god! we drink,we smoke and we wear clothes like that!! And that day, his general demeanour reminds me forcefully why it's wonderful that we live in an India of today, where we appreciate our small town roots and sensibilities and can still embrace a 'western' culture. It's no longer shameful that people speak Hindi instead it's infra dig if you don't!!I love living in a world where we cross a chasm of difference like it's a crack in the paving - it can be viewed by some people as bad luck but for most people it's just another step!

Back in the day...

I have just taken an enforced walk down memory lane - friends, and I use the term loosely, have put up photies of us from college and all the mad things we used to do. As I saw them, I had a pinch of nostalgia for the fun times we had , intense amusement at the clothes we used to wear but more than anything else,I felt extreme and utter horror at the hair we used to have!! I for one looked like a boy in quite a few of the snaps - the short hair and the jeans look does not work for me at all - even girls who have beautiful hair had these haircuts that do nothing for them!
The fashion statements are extremely hysterical tho - checks were obviously the coolest thing, we had them in all the colors and one girl in particular had them in every single color! The next was the bright colors - I'm still partial to them but not the colors and the prints at the same time - a friend had bright orange with smiley faces - I'm still convinced she wore her nightsuit out in public. We also had reflector glares - those shiny mirros don't transalate well in photies!! But one thing does come out in those photographs - the good times we had still generate enough goodwill that 12 very different girls who have had their fair share of fights, still manage to get together and laugh over who they used to be and enjoy who they are now with each other! In the very many comments that the girls have posted on the photies, there was a very true statement made, we were like grapes back then and we have all matured into very FINE WINE!