Marriage - societal obligation or human choice?

After a mega discussion on the institution of marriage with The bride, since she has put up her views on marriage, I am going to discuss my take on it.

The first thing I really need to vent is the infamous question - 'Are you going to settle down soon?'. so like listen up, I'm 28, have a good job, do not have any substance abuse problem, have a steady boyfriend, how much more settled can I get? do I need to have a ring and 2.2 kids to be settled? I agree living with my parents may not signify settled but thats just Indian culture - if we lived in a different country I could be out of the house since I do make enough money to support myself - not sure about family but myself for sure. Is that not settled enough for people?

Don't get me wrong tho - I totally believe in the institution of marriage - I don't think its just societal sanction - I honestly believe it is a person's choice - you are declaring this person makes you happy in more ways than one. The rest of your family is handed to you on a plate from your parents to your children, you do choose your friends but its not the same relationship. Your spouse is someone who you declare - this is my partner, I want to grow with this person, I will create life if possible with this person. To digress and address the issue of noone wants to have sex with the one person for the rest of their lives, the commitment is also the inherent sacrifice in it - that you forgo your other options. I don't think the term marriage implies just a piece of paper - it signifies the emotions, the desires, our need to belong and our need to own. We need to say this person belongs to me - it is mine!

The first line of any sociology textbook states 'Man is a social animal' - this is true - we have evolved from primates where there in A alpha male - in our society, there is no such sharing. That again is a choice!

I think that's one thing I got from my religion - everything is a choice and I cannot believe that marriage is a sociological conditioning to be with a person - it has to be a choice people make, a declaration of love.

Taj Fort Aguada is Fabulous!

I'm sorry - I had to say it upfront so it's very clear - if you have not understood let me repeat...
FORT AGUADA VILLAS ARE FABULOUS!
So anyway, as we landed, my room partner and I were given a room within the hotel which is nice since its on the cliff but its still a hotel - 5 minutes in, we realised we had been given the handicapped room with a steel chair near the shower and handles near the loo - which makes it impossible to use. I wish I had taken some pictures to explain.So we stated our discomfort and to appease us, we were given a villa but we were given one of the fancy ones reserved for CEO's etc - we entered into a little patio then a hall + a massive as bedroom and of all joys! 2 Bathrooms! this is a blessing in disguise when 2 girls are sharing and all activities are constantly delayed so you are rushing to get ready for the parties in the night.

First view of Villa from gate:

Entrance of Villa:

Hall:

Bed Room:

View of Other villas:


Hotel Terrace:

View from hotel terrace:

Goa Baby

So, In case I have not announced it earlier, I am going to Goa for the annual company conference.We are putting up at the Taj Holiday Village/Fort Aguada Resort from Thursday through Sunday. In case you are not clear what the place looks like, please find images below

Highlights of the Event:

• Moisti Kar Soiba - casual Goan evening on the Taj lawns - I is going to wear the lovely cotton strapless dress I got stitched in Vietnam in the tailor town [Hoi An]
• Outlandish - white and bling themed party at Paradiso in Anjuna - in this the girls have the option of wearing black so I can wear a black mini dress with black crystals or my white lace strapless dress with a gold belt and gold keds
• Gala dinner - Taj Ballroom - very safe options here of a neutral hued knee length dress or a black fine pinstriped knee length fitted sheath dress -will see which way I go eventually

In addition, there will be telegames and actual conference along with a new addition this year of workshops/training manuals but still....the sun, sand and sea. And the company has a policy of alcohol drinking compulsory.
In the not so good news, since the tickets are non refundable, I am unable to change my tickets to stay back for an extra night which is only an issue since the 'girlies' [previously known as the 'apostles'] will be in the state at the same time - one of whom is researching wedding venues and the other 3 are along for the ride. It appears to be a fun vacay but since I need to save leave for Hong Kong which I have to do in June, I cannot make it. Will meet them for a little bit on Saturday evening in all my finery. P will also be in Goa at the same time but not looking like I can catch her at all unless I nip out quickly on Friday which since it's the actual conference seems highly unlikely.
Anyway, gotta say, still looking forward to the trip and here's to not getting burnt!

politically yours

I had kinda told myself that if a BJP led government came into power, I would start the immigration process for a country [most likely NZ] - since the UPA is back, I no longer have worries on that score. I can take my time till the next time the country is attacked and then think about the process again!

I'm really grateful for a Congress government tho - their politics are not hate based. I'm sure they are pro Hindu - it just makes it better that they are not anti - other religions.

I have always maintained that while there have always been religious skirmishes in the country, we dissolved into this antagonistic nation post the famous Rath Yatra of 1990. I mean was there really a need to go and incite a mob to demolish any religious place? Since then, Indians have lived in constant fear - of riots, of their neighbours, of different religions.

Also, it seems to me that when the politicians realised they were getting their asses whupped by the Muslims [ref bomb blasts], they found a new religious target - they started attacking Christianity on the grounds of conversions. I then want to ask why do all the matrimonial ads of the Hindus read for Convented girls? Obviously one thinks that the education one receives in a convent is better on all aspects including moral values.

This is just a political platform that parties are using to garner votes - knowing the psyche of the Indian population, they are easy to convince on any issue. Which explains how the British ruled for 300 years with a minimum number of wars!! Not that Im knocking other people down - I am Indian and does it show! the line of reast resistance is my favourite path - which also explains tho I know that I need to be the change, I am not doing anything actively - each vote helps but I'm sure I could do more!

Since I very rarely write about things like politics, there is one lady I need to doff my hat at - an au pair from Italy turned out the master political strategist of this decade. From fronting the Congress party to turning down the post of prime minister and her children actively participating in this process, she has turned every expectation on it's head and is now reaping the benefits.

A little J

Ever think some people have all the luck?? Don't get me wrong - I have a fabulous life for the most part but some days, it just seems other people catch really good breaks. I don't know if I've posted about my ex-friend [she married my ex-boss and I found out about it when he announced it in my ex-company]. Anyhoo since that story can go on forever while I give the background and foreground and some side bits, let me just get to the current point - she has now been sent to Cannes for the film festival where her company is putting up a stall. After which, she is going to Italy with her husband which I don't envy so much ;-)! but really, being officially sent to Cannes - sounds like a dream to me!

Weighing scales for life

I have issues currently - I'm a little unhappy with a situation at work and I have no idea how to rectify it and eventually it all boils down to balance.
If I crib about every little thing, then I'm the whiny bitch so if there is a big issues, everyone is like oh just another problem. However if you don't make a noise about the little things, when the big issue comes, it's like how is this suddenly a problem?
Also, if I am going to demand these rights, I then need to fit into the concept of the working person in India which is think of work 24/7. I'm good at what I do but I like my life as well. The alternative is to keep quiet and enjoy the life that I do have.
It's about striking a balance: At which point do I start complaining and at what point do I say this is the end of the fight - anything more and it's not worthwhile for me?

28 and counting...

With the apathy that I'm currently going through regarding the birthday, I decided a recap post is in order just so I can count my blessings and feel glad for my life.

• My mother has not added heart problems to her list of ailments - she gave us a minor scare but other than that all good - my dad as usual hale and hearty
• The juggler is still wonderful and promising to undergo behavioural changes - what is it with women that we feel a compulsive need to change stuff?
• My job seems to be getting better since I've been moved completely out of sales to a marketing profile- not entirely happy with the reporting structure but I could be surprised
• I'm finally a Godmother - R had an adorable baby boy in January
• My money woes seem to be decreasing - I've learnt a little bit of saving also works
• My weight while not decreasing has ceased to bother me - I have attained nirvana in this aspect
• I no longer count my joys with the number of shoes I own - this shows that I have matured as an individual
• I am come to terms with the fact that I am a Vampire lover. Exhibit A: Luke Perry who starred in the film ' Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Exhibit B: David Boreanaz - Angel in the TV series ' Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Exhibit C: Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen in the film series 'Twilight'
• I have MTV Europe on my TV which gives me access to English music 24/7 - However I only watch it once a week but still...
• My Scramble IQ on facebook is above 160

This seems to be enough stuff to make my life worthwhile - So I'm doing dinner on Saturday!
28, I will survive you - you cannot be worse than 26!