Single and not ready to mingle.....

is how I spent all my teenage years and most of my 20's as well. Apart from a small non relationship last year [which seemed mega at the time], the boy is the first boyfriend I have ever had. I think this is the reason I don't have so much drama or angst in my life - I'm not actively looking for the relationship to come and bite me in the ass. I know people who constantly express surprise at the contentment they feel in the current relationship but that's because they are used to wanting to escape the confines of the ties or readying themselves for the next bout of battle. Don't get me wrong - I thought I was ready to mingle and in fact looked to mingle and would be extremely upset at times at the not mingling but I was not ready for another person to come and disrupt my life. I was extremely happy with the freedom singledom gave me - I holidayed many places with no encumbrances and no guilt - I went out with many different groups and also with lots of boys. In fact, I've had some experiences which should count as very romantic, letters with poetry written for me, walks on a moonlit beach, calls at 2 am, calls every day but will talk about that later. I always had a singular male friend who was my protector or designated dropper at any given time but nobody to whom I had to report. I may have missed out on Valentine's day and New Year's was also a bummer since these are specific romantic occasions but on the whole, I had a really fun time.

Which is why, I suppose, it still shocks me that I can't just make plans when I feel like with who I feel like because I am now responsible in way to another human being whose life is intrinsically linked with mine but who also has a life of his own.